Thursday, March 18, 2010

Why go out for a burger when you've got steak at home?

Once again I'm disappointed in mankind.
I'm not a manhater. Not even close. But lordy, lord do I get sick and tired of their cheating.
Jesse James (aka Mr. Sandra Bullock), has allegedly been carrying on an affair for about a year. I
Not only do I love Sandra, a lot, but Mr. Bullock has always given me a good feeling. On top of thinking he was really hot, I thought he gave off a very kind, bad*ss, sweet, no BS vibe. And the fact that he loved Sandra, made it all the sweeter.

Now this is all unconfirmed but I'm sorry tabloids tend to be true. And Sandra pulling out of premieres only reinforces the fact that Jesse James just might be that scummy. (Update: it's true).
{Now's a good opportunity to spend time with someone who really cares for you}
Of course everyone dislikes cheating and a cheater in theory. But unless you've been cheated on, you don't really feel the true pain and heartbreak that it brings. I walked a long mile in Sandra's shoes before and it is one of the roughest roads to walk. Not only are you getting cheated on constantly but when you find out you question all the others who had been in the "know" as well as an awful, weird attachment to the boy doing it to you.
I wish I had had the know-how to break up with him immediately and keep moving forward like they do in the movies. But it didn't work that way. For some reason I was so invested in my relationship with him that I let it slide and low and behold it happened over and over again...until I basically lost footing on my own self worth.
It's no way to live.
Now lonnnnnnnnng after our demise and the pain has subsided, washed away, basically evaporated... I'm okay talking to him now and again after I took the time (in the name of my own healing) to remember the good aspects of our relationship-the sides no one else knew but us, in order to remind myself that I dated an erroneous human, not a monster. I had to recognize the shortcomings in the relationship that were at my hand- I didn't cheat but there was a lot I didn't notice that he needed (that in no way excuses the cheating but if you really want to learn, you have to acknowledge your role). And I'm happy to say, I'm now at the point where I truly want what is best for him. But it takes a long time to get to that point.
The only upside is that you walk away with personal knowledge. It's a long journey but you learn about the importance of...
  • Forgiveness
  • Trusting your instincts
  • Self Worth
  • Speaking up
  • Courage to face the day
  • Finding yourself
  • Recognizing your own faults
  • the ability to move upward and onward
  • Knowing that you won't walk this road again
  • Being stronger
Cheating is definitely a crummy game but in the end it can be utilized to find something new, better and healthier.


And if you're lucky enough... when you look back, you'll thank them for the life lesson.

Images via WeHeartIt
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35 comments:

Holly said...

You pretty much summed it up, and really well at that. Cheating is crummy and hopefully "you" will come out stronger and better and healthier.

I have been out of the loop..and had not heard these rumors. I always liked him too...I am blowing a big ole raspberry at him. Ultimately it is not about the woman (or man)in particular...it is about the faults and insecurities of the person cheating.

Holly

Jaime @ La vie...J'aime said...

I am sooo saddened by Jesse. After the entire award season and then this comes out... shame!!

Claire Kiefer said...

1. Jesse James, what a scumbag! I can't get over how beautiful the dress Sandra's wearing in that picture is, though. :( So sad since she was just interviewed by Barbara Walters after the Oscars and she said so many sweet things about their relationship. :(

2. That park bench picture is somehow . . . both horrifying and captivating!

3. Sorry you had to go through all that, but so glad you came out on the other side!!

Kara said...

Gah, I was crushed by that news as well. I wish real love in Hollywood could actually last :(

Sorry you had a bad experience but I'm thankful that you shared it with us.

bananas. said...

Grrrrr....this tidbit of news urked me too. Boo on him for doing what we expect. Way to prove us right jerkoff!!!

I've been cheated on too, though i didn't find out til after we broke up. I don't what the reason is, you should NEVER cheat! You, lady, were not the reason why he cheated. He was. But i se where you're coming from.

Tamara Nicole said...

Grrr guys can be soooo dumb!!! I lvoe Sandra too, sad times:-(

Tamanna A. Shaikh said...

Caitlin, I ca understand how it feels. While time is the greatest medicine, the wounds do leave a scar. It's only strength in one's self that keeps them going. I appreciate your strength and courage and respect you for that! Much love!

Rasha said...

Love this post. I can relate so well and this is just annoying, I love her so much.

Kinsey Michaels said...

This was a great post Caitlin! I feel so sorry for Sandra too, I hate guys who cheat! It seems like a lot of them do it. They are intrigued by other women and think they can get something out of it that they don't have with their current love. But sadly, sometimes it works out (the girl who gets cheated on gets left in the dust while the guy and his lover end up together)

xo

Leah said...

You said it well Caitlin... and I'm glad you learned the lessons early. I was in the same boat as you years ago but I learned from it, worked it to my advantage and learned to accept the realities of life. And look how I'm smiling today... that is a genuine smile. xoxo

Mari said...

cheating hurts...hurt, hurts, hurt and Ive been there too I hate hearing about Sandra and Jesse though...it just felt like they were different =(

OceanDreams said...

This was such a powerful post and I am so disappointed but at least she found out not and not later. I too have been cheated on and agree with what you said - it is hard to heal and move on. When you get there it is so powerful. Self worth is soooo important!!

Kristin said...

I would love for that not to be true. Infidelity just makes my blood boil!

Sher said...

I have just heard this on the radio and I feel so affected by it! Why oh why must this happen to dear, sweet Sandra?

And you said it so well through your own experiences, you're so strong and gracious, I admire you.

Nikosmommy said...

Ooooh-wee! And have you seen the girl he cheated with. Seriously Jesse?!?!?!

madeleine said...

Ahh! I heard this on the radio this morning, and it definitely started my day off on the wrong foot. I, too am a HUGE sandra bullock fan, and I loved seeing them together all the time, and the fact that he was okay with his wife being as amazing as she is. I wish it wasn't true. Especially seeing pictures of his mistress. Ugh!

stay classy!
madeleine

Nathalie said...

Wow, I am really sorry to hear that you made such a horrible experience. It is wonderful how you transferred it into a lesson for life and great to be able to communicate with him again.
Seems like you really grew stronger because of this experience.
*Nathalie

kirstyb said...

lovely pics x

A.Co said...

I feel so sad about this too :( and agree with your opinion of him - pre-controversy. I know it's not looking good, and I know you posted that video clip, but I really really really hope it isn't true :(

A.Co @ www.acoest1984.blogspot.com

littlemissjuicy said...

It's a scary world when you think of all the unfaithfulness that goes around. It's even scarier to think that rarely any men are faithful. It's like you're living with aliens or something! :S
I'm sorry to hear about what you went through!

hewnly said...

such a great post!!

the "L" spot said...

I can completely relate!! I too walked a long mile in Sandra's shoes! But like you, and like she will too, I walked away and found so much better in my Brian.

Zanah said...

I don't like cheaters too ! And Sandra deserves better !! Mon Mode Blog

Jen said...

i had no idea this was going on with sandra recently and that must be so tough for her to go through, especially in the public eye. :( and i'm sorry to hear you had to go through a similar situation in the past. at least you came out of it stronger and took some life lessons with you. :)
fantastic post.

Fleur said...

Such a beautiful quote! I really hope it's still true... :)

tinypaperheart said...

this was such an amazing post. i appreciated your honesty and how you shared the lessons that you learned. :)

Julia, the Thanksgiving Girl said...

Caitlin, this is such a good post. It definately takes a long time to get to that point, and I am so happy to hear you're the one who was able to bring out the best from this terrible experience. You know, a lot of people then follow the wrong bitter road - it takes courage to learn from your mistakes. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing this life experience! xo

Walk The Sand said...

Lovely post. Why is every celebrity these days cheating? It's sad.
x

Erika said...

Can I just say that cheaters are basically one of the lowest people on the face of the earth? Cannot stand them. I'm glad Sandra took the high road by walking away from the situation; I just hope that she doesn't take him back. He truly does NOT deserve her! :/

Ash Fox said...

well said.

x

Froso said...

I've hated that guy, he seemed so happy for her when she won the oscar and then everything came out! He cheated on her with a girls that is not even half good as she is. People are stupid sometimes, especially when the suffer from inferiority syndromes.

The Owl's Closet said...

i'm sorry to that u had to go through that ordeal, caitlin:( even though u have a guy in ur life now, i'm so glad that u look back without bitterness:) everything above was well said!

TheOwlsCloset.blogspot.com

Johnny Utah said...

i feel you C&P, been there a while ago. yikes, it sucks.

The cheating annoys me too, Tiger of course. Why do they get married before they've been indulgent/selfish? Derek Jeter hooks up more than Tiger did and no one complains because he's smart enough not to get hitched yet.

Punctuation Mark said...

Can't believe that she dedicated all her awards to him and he did that... it's bad what he did but also the women knew what they were doing, like they say it takes two to tango!

vhrao said...

You all should know one thing: Love just happens. But you marry and live with a partner based on your aptitude. I am sure there was flaw with Sandra to have selected such a bad ass. Finally karma of what you do in a situation takes over. Pity is an aftermath. I am sure Jessie is a bad man, who took advantage of sandra's weaknesses. Sandra must address her weaknesses first to have selected and lived partner with such psycho desires. Surely she must have known hints. Otherwise she is dumb in certain ways too! They say True Love is god. But Generic Love as we see in day to day lives cannot substitute aptitude.