Monday, June 28, 2010

Love Food but don't be a "Foodie"

I have a guest post today- NO: I'm not on vacation, NO: I'm not unable to Blog... I have my friend Jordan guest posting because he is one of the most hilarious people on the planet. Give him 2 paragraphs and you won't want to stop reading...Chris Rock meets Food Network

Hi my name is Jordan and I've know Caitlin for a very very long time. We met freshman year of high school and ran into each other here and there: the magic of the internet has helped. But now we are very close friends and I am proud to say that she will always be my friend. I am now a cook at Bridgeport brewpub in Portland. While this is not going to ever turn into a career for me, I have learned one very very important thing in the last three years that i have been making food for money: food is everything. And I'm going to tell you why.

{Jordan and Me}

I now look at food from a very cliche standpoint: food brings people together. Food to me is being with people I love. I rarely see the important people in my life without consuming some sort of food. Duh, there is Christmas and Thanksgiving and Valentine's day and all that sh*t but if you really think about it, it's everyday, all the time.

Sometimes I don't get to see my best friend, Jay, as often as I'd like. But guess what I do (and you do it too)? If you have a busy f*cking Saturday and you only have an hour to be with your best friend, you're probably going to get a slice of pizza or a yogurt or some sh*t. I have an hour tomorrow in my day and I'm going to have lunch with my friends. What else would I want to do?

{Jordan and his love of food accompanied by his love for his best friend, Jay, and his lady love}

I see my mom all the time. One thing that my mom and I share in common is our love to eat. If my mom wants to see me, all she has to do is ask me to go get some food with her. If i go on vacation anywhere, anywhere at all, the thing i think about first is what I'm going to be eating once i get there.

The term "foodie" get tossed around a lot, especially here in Portland- so much so that it has become almost slander. A foodie to me is a pretentious person who wont go to f*cking Burgerville because it's fast food. But Burgerville is a great place. One tremendous aspect of Burgerville's marketing strategy is that they are very open about how well they treat their employees. If you work twenty hours a week at Burgerville, you can get your f*cking daughter to a doctor for cheap if she has an ear infection. I feel good about that when i eat there.

{Jordan and food picks all across the board}

My friend JJ's mom is a general manager of a local salad buffet chain restaurant called Sweet Tomatoes. JJ loves to talk up his mom and tell about the outstanding things she gets to do for her employees if they are jammed up in a mess. She's done all kinds of sh*t. For instance, I think she organized some kind of give drive for one of her cooks because their spouse lost his leg or something and couldn't work. Some "foodies" will tell you to go f*ck yourself if you tell them you went to a lunch at a place like Sweet Tomatoes. Well guess what you d*ck foodie, Sweet Tomatoes provides jobs to A LOT of people. Sure, they probably get their lettuce from some massive corporate farm that uses crazy unhealthy pesticides but in this day and age, sometimes you gotta walk on the f*cking bright side of the road. And if a place like Sweet Tomatoes or Burgerville offers a bunch of okay jobs for some ordinary hard-working people, then that's a wonderful thing.

I really hate when food becomes this pretentious thing that people so easily judge and it happens often in places with populations of "creative" types (whatever that means) like Portland. Are you really going to put me on blast because i got a Starbucks coffee when there is a small coffee shop ten yards away? I just need my f*cking coffee. i wasn't really thinking about it, get off my sh*t.

The reason why the term foodie is off-putting now is because basically it has turned into pretentiousness. Some people would call me a foodie but I'm not. They call me this probably because I cook and sometimes I like expensive food and I hunt out restaurants that sell weird sh*t.

But guess what, last Saturday i had a McDonald's sausage biscuit for breakfast and then I had fourth meal at Taco Bell. I had no time to go get some organically produced salad. I had to get something quick: I was hungry and hungover... again please step back Mr. Foodie, you're standing on my d*ck.

I guess this all probably sounds a little aggressive but it all comes back to the fact that we have to eat and we usually do it with a small time frame so we sometimes choose what is convenient. I love farmer's markets. I love organic fresh cut french fries but I also love, and will always be faithful, to the Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich. That's the thing with food: you can have it both ways. You can eat it all and you should. This is America and if you have the privilege of being able to feed yourself, then you should do it anyway you can. Just try to have some grapes or something every once in a while, corn on the cob is off the hook-get some of that. It's good for you. Put some butter and an a*s load of salt on it if you want, just be grateful that you have access to it.

{Our friends: Stephen, Jordan, Jordan's love- Lindsey, Megan, Jay and Me}

You should be so lucky to share a meal with people like Caitlin and the other people that i have in my life. I'll be eating with these people til I die. I hope your meals are just as good as mine.

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Unknown said...

Will you make those ribs again? They were bomb.

Claire Kiefer said...

haha, so funny! great guest post . . . and I totally agree with him :)

Anonymous said...

Love the guest post! Completely agree with it as well :)

Unknown said...

Love it and man do I love to eat!

Leah said...

Hi Jordan! I agree with you... a great meal plus fabulous people to share it with... PERFECTION!

Hi Caitlin! Have a great week! xoxo

Unknown said...

HAHA very funny post. I can totally relate on the Starbucks coffee thing!!

this free bird said...

Dude you are hilarious. And very right about food and foodies. Food unites the people.

And my bf is a real life Chef and he is not a dickola foodie. He is creative and loves to make and eat good food. Here's the thing though: we eat at Mexican places for $5 each - some of the best tacos your ass will ever find (sans the drink, of course on that $5 tag but STILL). We eat at Peruvian holes in the wall - best saltados you'll ever find. How about freaking In-N-Out??? Can't pass that up. And I haven't even gotten started on his love for Denny's bacon.

All this to say - spot on. Or some sh*t. Food snobbery is for the insecure, me thinks. I'm still learnin' though so you may have some thoughts. Cook on brother.

Anonymous said...

myy goood, how nice!! Your friends seem SO nice! I hope your summer vacation is the best,
and I always love your outfits,
thank you for the comment in my blog as well.
hugs from greece!

Unknown said...

That was divine. He sounds like he was in the same mood as I was, when I wrote what I wrote, tonight. Anyway - this put me in a much better mood. Thank you.

I hope Kristi steers clear of this post. Not really, but it's sort of funny. It makes me smile. That's probably due to the mood I am in.

You know, I totally agree with a lot of points within this spiel. But, sadly, Taco Bell's chicken just doesn't seem the same anymore. I'd gladly get my usual soft chicken taco, if the chicken didn't taste like rubber. That's the only thing that sucks. Otherwise, I totally agree - eat what you want, every now and then.

I <3 Starbucks. They provide health insurance to full-time and part-time employees. So there.

Leia said...

haha i love food :) and eating with people i love makes me happy!

Unknown said...

Ha ha! This reminded me of a story in the Onion! Fab writing, I totally agree. Food is food, I love it all, and am just as happy dining out at Wendy's as I am at a five star restaurant, it all depends on my mood (and wallet, duh). XO!

erica said...

Love the guest post and I really want your white dress!


Unknown said...

lovely post x

Jaime @ laviejaime said...

Cute post! I should have a friend guest post on my'd be fun!

noone said...

haha. I hate foodies. Everyone has different taste buds and whoppers are amazing burgers. and yes food is important! You might not have to shower everyday but you do have to eat everyday! :D

the "L" spot said...

So fun! This made me hungry! I've never heard of foodies maybe its just a portland thing! But you were right this guy was hilar.

erika sorocco said...

Okay, so now I'm starving; AND...I think I want Jordan to be my new BFF (and personal chef - but we can keep the last bit between us). LOVE this guest post!

Ummm...also; I NEED that white dress you're wearing in the first set of pictures with Jordan. Gorg!! :)

Vanessa said...

Hahaha awesome. Food is scrumptious, who needs those foodies anyway! 8)

Anonymous said...

God love him Caitlin! I can see why you love him! I think he's my new BFF.

Bumpkin on a Swing said...

I really enjoyed this little look into your group of friends and how you hang.
From a Southern girl, everything evolves around food in our lives.
Death, Celbrations, Love, Sorrow, the works.

ellinelle said...

..oooh I love food and I wish I could eat and eat and not put any weight : ) just had pizza actually : )

..Caitlin you look so gorgeous in that first picture , that white dress looks so beautiful ..white is the best colous for tanned skin ..gorgeous : )

Ellinelle xxx

Holly Lefevre said...

OK, I like Jordan! I like his take on being a foodie...I am not a foodie...I love good food, comfort food, fun food no matter where it comes is more about who ya eat it with.

Petite Gorgeous said...

Looks like you had a great time! :)

Just learned about your blog.

I hope you will stop by mine to enter my J Crew giveaway :).

Looking forward to reading your future posts.

Unknown said...

lol, funny guest post..nice !!
Of course, the mouth watering pictures are fabulous :)

LadyBugSays ... said...

Great guest post!!

Shanin said...

Haha so true! I love McDonald's as much as I love Blue Hour. And my vacays often revolve around being excited about what I get to eat next...unless it's the Mexican restaurant by the cabin. You will never read this but, you're a great cook Jordan!