Monday, September 20, 2010

When I'm 64...

I can't believe it's been a week since I last posted! But in my defense... I've had a week of feeling damn old.

First off, I was fairly certain that Tuesday after work, I had been hit by a tranquilizer dart.. thus rendering me useless for the rest of the week. I stumbled through Wednesday as if I had been recovering from a hangover (which... needless to say, I wasn't!) and Thursday and Friday were busy and jam-packed with career and personal life. Saturday, when I finally had some me time, I fell asleep for hours then roused myself, went to The Boy's apartment and promptly brought him into my downward spiral and we took a fat nap followed by getting under the covers to listen to the rain at about 9 PM...I attempted to let the night end like that in my slovenly stupor but amidst the wind and the rain, the Boy said "Um... it's Saturday night, can we at least watch TV?"

So basically, life with me last week was about as fun as your Great Aunt Marge visiting from Florida.

Oh but that's not all.

I got my hair done Wednesday night and guess what my hair stylist found?

3 gray hairs!!!

That's the first time I have seen a grey hair on me. Honestly, the silver fox look looks great on people- I even think guys are hotter when they let their salt'n'pepper flow (cue the obligatory "Clooney's so hot!"). I also admire the fabulous older women with beautiful skin and glistening silver hair. But when I hear that I am beginning to sprout those thingys... I have a different view of gray hair altogether. What has always been "it's just a part of growing up and it's beautiful!" now becomes "F*CK".

Now, it's really NOT that big of a deal because when it comes to hair dyin' ... I'm a "lifer". I do plan to never, ever, ever have my natural hair color again. Not because it is heinous or embarrasses me... it's just boring and I much prefer the fun that comes with faux-hair colors (not to mention the monthly visit to my faboosh hair dresser). But knowing that my body is at the point where it's starting to grow them... still makes me feel a bit blah (just like my natural hair color).

And my final old person issue is that I swear my eyes are going! I've noticed at the gym these last few weeks, it's getting harder for me to read the closed captioning on the TV. And also today at work when an Executive was walking toward me, I asked him what that contraption in his hand was for. That "contraption" ended up being a lunchbox and an umbrella... but I somehow saw a device with a scope. Wow... I smell a promotion!

However, in the midst of my gray hair, narcolepsy and eyes that are wasting away... I did have a dream the other night. I was pregnant and navigating the life I have now in that condition. It was embarrassing to be at work pregnant, it was horrible to think about what I couldn't do now (move on a whim, live for myself, flirt) and it was debilitating to think that I should now be married. In my slumber, I saw my chance to move to Chicago gone and realized that settling down right now felt beyond overwhelming and saddening to me.

I woke up and realized that I am so not ready for marriage or kids (love them and want them, just not now). It is something I already knew but it felt nice to remind myself that I still have some time for me.

So expect to see my gray-hair flowing in the wind as I strut to happy hour downtown and enjoy whatever the night has to offer.

I'm 26... there's a lot to explore.

{I value this life}

I just hope I can see where the hell I'm going.

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Leia said...

If you're 26 going on 64 I must be nearing 100! Haha. I'm 22 and already have 3 gray hairs (I went to really tough, intense universities where I had to study/read about 15 hours a day so I'm blaming the stress!) and my eyesight is continuing to get worse (over -3 in both eyes - but I've had glasses since about age 9!)

I wouldn't worry - both these things are becoming more and more common in younger people. My mother had to start dying her roots (from white to black) when she was only 28, so genes plays a big part in it too! Stress is a major factor so my advice is, get your eyes tested, ignore the grays (or trim them down) and get lots of rest & relaxation :)


Anonymous said...

If I listed all the things that made me feel old... um I'm just not going to do that. Clearly I relate. I will never show my natural hair color either, for the same reasons. Actually, the EXACT same reasons.

this free bird said...

Girl you are singing my song on blast!!! I've been feeling as old as the hills - cracking knees, grey hairs poppin', the beginning of crows feet around the eyes.

Just feel like crawling into bed and taking 700 anti-aging supplements then napping until rejuvenation.

You look amazing!!

And ps - that pregnancy dream has haunted me for YEARS!! I swear it keeps me as non-committal as ever!

ps-good to see you back. i checked your page about 5x while you were away!!

ellinelle said...

..oooh sweetie ..I think you just had one of those days / weeks when you just feel down and nothing can cheer you up ..I know how it feels ,because I have those moments now and then , and yes , I HATE to feel like that as well ..and sometimes with no reason at all..
..about grey hair - don't worry at all , even kids get grey hair , and believe me - one hair is nothing ..I am finding grey hairs in my head also and I still have my natural colour ..
..all the aging scares me as well ..I better don't even talk about that ..

..about your dream : ) that is funny , your little hidden fears came out in your dream .. sometimes dreams can be so real , when you wake up and don't understand - it was the 'dream' only or what : )! be honest nobody are really ready for the kids , when it happens you have a SHOCK of the lifetime : ) and you just learn and learn to be finally ready : ) are beautiful and radiant ..and only 26 ..the best age : )

Kim Axani said...

Love those glasses! So cute.
LOL @ Great Aunt Margie coming to visit.

a blog full of weldons. said...

i literally just laughed out loud at the last line :) you are too cute :)
oh ye young and beautiful and spry one...i don't want to hear any old talk from you, mmk? this coming from a 32-yr-old (yeikes) lady. i've got troubles. 35 approaching and the dreaded mid 30's. i've got old covered for you. you've got young and sassy covered for me. we'll call it even :)

Julia, the Thanksgiving Girl said...

This post is a litte sad, but I just loved it and the whole "contraption" being a lunchbox and an umbrella" thing made me chuckle! I dunno, it's all good... I think we're all supposed to have days like this and expirience the less exciting side of growing up even when we're still so young - I believe it's natural, normal?

P.S. bathing my dog is easy, that's true - I wash him in a sink! lol

Panty Buns said...

Great pics, as usual, of you out with the girls, and a gorgeous photo of you by that lake that looks like it's in the crater of a dormant volcano. i should probably know where that is but i don't.

i think those first grey hairs come up for alot of people in their twenties - they did for me. Thankfully grey-white hair seems to be in. Lady Gaga dyed hers grey-white deliberately recently and i think it's catching on.

Oh, to be young like you again. If you're going on 64... i don't even want to calculate what age that would correlate to me going on - there's nobody alive today in that age range i'm sure.

You can't believe it's been a week since your last post? i can't believe it's been three weeks since my last. Maybe i'll do a quick apology with a question while i'm slowly working on the next.

i like yours.

bananas. said...

i'm so with you on a number of things...

1. natural hair color is boring blah. dying/coloring is always the way to go.

2. children now? no way! not now and heck maybe not ever but whatever i decide it will be my choice.

3. you're 26 and still very young and yes you have so much to explore. so live and be loved and have fun while you're doing it.

Kara said...

Oh my insane is that dream and the way you felt afterward?! It must be a sign...make sure and take PLENTY of time for you :) I have dreams all the time that are so ridiculously vivid I can hardly believe it. Sometimes they leave me messed up for days!!

And for the record...I'm going geriatric right along with you. I'm having eye issues too! Using the computer and reading grad school text books has KILLED them. Not to mention I went to the chiropractor this week, saw x rays of my neck (which is always sore) and discovered that all that reading/computer work has destroyed my neck too! Altogether a very cheerful week.

Here's to a better week next week...and no more gray hairs...and no pregnancy...and a fully functioning neck. UGH.

erika sorocco said...

Gah! Caitlin you are SO not getting old! I think as we grow up we all start thinking that. Just the other day, I noticed that my eyesight wasn't as strong as it used to be and I felt like crying. Is it weird that we all say that we don't mind getting older; then, the minute we think we are, we want to die? :/

Jaime @ laviejaime said...

No way 3 grey hairs!? My friend finds them ALL the time and tells me about them

:) Hope you're enjoying your week!

Jessica said...

haha! I've been feeling OLD lately as well (maybe its my upcoming birthday?) but its been bumming me out big time. I know I'm just being over-dramatic and silly but I can't help it. I wish I could freeze time for a couple years!!

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{andthisiswhatshesaid} said...

lol 3 grey hairs!!

Sher said...

Hah, you're only 26? Still a lil kiddie, never mind those grey hairs lol! As long as your heart is young, you'll never age, hun:)


Scrummys said...

You nailed it! I feel the same way about settling down and having a family! You're only as old as you feel :)

LadyBugSays ... said...

If eyesight is a sign of age I think I am about 100!! I am definately not old enough for a family yet!

jessica lynn said...

omg i'm 26 too and my gray hairs started to slowly appear last year. i thought i was a freak, so i am glad to hear that this has happened to others :)
i thought that drinking wine everynight would make the grays go away. hasn't worked yet. will keep trying. hehe.