Notice my absence last week? That's because last week ended up being a week that I didn't expect. I eluded to waiting on some news in my last post that I figured was "out of my hands" by that point. Well, I was wrong... turns out it was in my hands all week. Let me explain.I have written before about my love for the city of Chicago. I spent a lot of time there for business and was fortunate to experience the Winter, Summer & Fall in the city. In the Winter, I loved the snow framing the skyscrapers and the wreaths adorning the views I'd grown to love from every John Hughes movie. I adored the summer in Chicago for different reasons: I loved going to a Cubs game as well as a Sox game (in the same week). I was obsessed with the architecture and viewing it from the various tour buses/boats that the city offers. The people were so nice, the boys were cute, the restaurants all had character...I loved everything about the city in every way.
Being in my twenties, it's natural to feel the inclination to spread my wings. And I need a change desperately. Though California is beautiful, I have never had a desire to move there which is often the place to go if you live in Portland. I've never wanted to move somewhere without distinct seasons waiting for me. I love the vitality of a city and I want to live in a large, cold, northern city. New York City is obviously beautiful and I would love to live there but really, the apple of my eye is Chicago for the reasons listed above and more. I've been completely set on making my way there ever since my visits.
However, that didn't mean I had ever taken any steps to make the move. A few months ago, I promised myself that on a 1-5 year plan, I would get my bum to downtown Chicago and live there. I felt happy about this because the huge company I work for now (you all would know what it is upon the name), has an office smack dab in the middle of downtown Chicago. And a couple months ago... an opportunity that suited my goals, skills and desires opened up in said office.
In order to apply for a new job as a present employee at my company, I had to discuss this with my 
Manager. If she allowed me to apply for it, then I would have to earn and have the approval of our top executive team. So... I went for it. I called a meeting with my Manager and asked if we could discuss the opening and my candidacy for it. After discussion, she gave her blessing. The next day, after she had passed the word onto the executive team, I was given notice by one member that they were going to give their full support for me applying. That felt great because it was direct reflection of my work ethic.
So... I went after this job like a tiger. I started with the application then followed-up by emailing the contacts directly. When I received contact from them, they said they would be in touch soon. Good enough, I thought- but the job starts November 8th so I felt a bit anxious that the ball wouldn't get rolling soon enough.
The second week into October, I finally started the vetting process. I had an in-house Recruiter for the role who guided me through all of the steps. I would interview with one Chicago executive over the phone and would wait for the Recruiter to again call to tell me the results. I sent every "thank you" letter promptly, and my answers to their questions were poised, intellectual and eloquent. Every day or so, the Recruiter would call me and tell me again that I made it to the next level of the hiring process and I continuted to move forward. I was told at the end of the week October 15th, that they would be making a decision the following week which is when I posted about it being "out of my hands".
They were wrong. The Chicago team still wanted to interview with me more, so I spent every single day interviewing with a different person regarding the role. And without fail, the recruiter would call me and say "great job! You're moving forward!" I started to get sincerely excited that I may actually land this job.
Then Thursday morning at 7:30 am, I received a call from the Recruiter who told me that this job had come down to me and one other candidate. I felt weak with both glee and nervousness. There were just two interviews left and I had to excel at both of them. So, the first one came and went and the reassuring call from the Recruiter came- I had nailed it and they were still struggling to decipher between me and the other. So on 
Friday, the big daddy of interviews came. I braced for it and did the best that I could and felt good walking away from it, knowing that a decision would be made later that day.
And later that day, the Recruiter called me:
"Caitlin, I gotta tell you. You impressed the heck out of everyone and honestly, with you and the other candidate, we tried to see if we could make room for two because you were both so wonderful. But, it saddens me to say that I don't have the good news for you. You both excelled at your interviews but the other candidate is local and this job begins November 8th. So that is how we ultimately made the differentiation between you."
Bummer.
I didn't get the job due to the 2-week opening between now and the start date and the fact that I would still have to relocate to the city. I definitely would have, but from their point-of-view, it was the better way to go.
Despite the outcome, I remain very proud of myself. I am proud because I had virtually no one pushing my credentials at them and there was no reason that I moved forward as far as I did besides my own hard work- no one knew the hiring manager to get me an interview, I got all of my interviews on my own. I am proud that I had the backing and recommendation from the executive team at my current office. I am proud that out of hundreds of applications, I thrusted myself to the top-two. I am proud that I was excited to leave what I know in order to find something new despite the hardship that would entail. I am proud that I took the very large step of deciding that I would move my life there immediately. And I'm proud that I have made a slight name for myself with some contacts over there.
However, make no mistake about the fact that I am supremely bummed out. At first, I wasn't excited about moving there because I assumed it was a leap of faith to actually land the position. But after I continued to move forward and the start-date got closer, I started gathering some notes about neighborhoods and cost of living and envisioned me in a Parka trucking down Michigan Ave. I really, really wanted the job. I am very sad I didn't get it.
I let myself cry a bit this weekend but now that I've grieved... I'm ready for more. I will be staying in contact with those who I met. I will be applying to more openings that the Recruiter suggested to me, with later start dates. I will meet with the Chicago contacts in person on a personal visit there and I will get to Chicago.
You fall...feel the pain, wipe yourself off and get back up. That's what I plan on doing even though it'll be a bit later than I had hoped.
Look out Chicago, I'm coming for you.
