Monday, October 4, 2010

Does he think I'll get my period and ruin his empire?

Well, it happened for the first time today at work.

I cried.

Not in a pathetic way with a dramatic run to the bathroom only to sit in a locked stall wiping away mascara and certainly not in a way that initiated a plethora of female coworkers around me saying "O-M-G! What's wrong!?!". AND most importantly, it didn't include a gaggle of awkward male coworkers asking me if I'm okay as they secretly clicked their heels three times hoping to be transported somewhere that had nothing to do with consoling a crying girl (i.e. to a coffin).

I just reached my limit after a rough day and needed to revert to my solitary window-cube and let my eyes well up with a few tears for a few minutes. Phew. Mind you, my "limit" is high and it takes a lot to bring me to tears in a professional environment. I knew this month was going to be busy, I knew it and planned for it but oh-me-oh-my...

I don't cry at work, I think the last time I cried at an office was in 2006 and again, was brief and unnoticed (but of course I always have to talk to my sister for an hour on the phone after work because she's amazing and lets me vent - thank you Jocie) but everytime I have an instance where I feel like I may lose it or my friend tells me she cried at work, I always think of the Sex & the City episode where they are all warning one another to just not cry at work, or if you do- don't let anyone see you.

Thankfully, no one saw me and I went about my day and completed my work as I should (though looking in the mirror after was a little depressing). The upside to this was that my gym workout after literally had me feeling as if I were Rocky. Nothing like a long, stressful day to bring out the best in your workout. I was drenched in sweat on the elliptical and lifted weights for about 30 minutes. That felt beyond good. I really feel thankful for the release that exercise brings to my life.

Also- Britney on Glee. Amazing. I love her and adore her music. I will never be convinced that she is anything less than an icon.

{yeah, she isn't what she was but she's still far better than others were or will ever be}

Anyway this post is pointless but I'm kinda drained and want to read other blogs before I head off to bed so I'm going to say goodnight and good morrow- here's hoping your Tuesday is better than my Monday!

Have you ever cried at work???

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Claire Kiefer said...

Hilarious that you ask about crying at work cause I'm kind of a crying machine. :( I'm super emotional, and tears just flood my eyes whenever I'm stressed/sad/anxious/etc. . . . can't help it! ha. Pretty sure I've cried in front of every single one of my bosses. Sometimes it's frustrating, cause I know I am perceived as an "overly emotional GIRL," but other times I'm like F that! I am tough as nails most of the time, but I cry when I am overwhelmed--DEAL WITH IT! :)

At least you had a good workout--more than I can say! This particular Monday, I couldn't do anything but come home and CRASH.

this free bird said...

I've not cried at work since - actually I'm not sure I ever did. But I sure felt like it way back. Kelly Cutrone's book - If You Have to Cry, Go Outside is one I'm picking up this weekend. I heard it's great and since I basically feel like crying every day lately I'm thinking the time has come!!

Hang in there!! And don't beat yourself up. You're no wuss and stress can get the best of us.


ellinelle said...

..awwww sweetie , I hope you will feel better soon , I actually have that kind of mood at the moment as well and I hate to feel like that , it's like I have no energy and no smile ..
..I cried at work many times , first it was in office where I tried secretary job and my boss was woman ( nasty nasty nasty ) and I cried at my Hotel Bar job as well..
..hugs ..

Nathalie said...

Hey my dear,
I just wanted to say a quick hello. I am so MIA at the moment an miss reading your entertaining posts. I cried at work - several times and always tried to hide it, even though I did not succeed all the time. Well, this is just female: being that bit more emotional :)
I wish you a fantastic Tuesday

Unknown said...

well yes, yes i have... but when your job is nannying and you live with a family for a year you kinda expect that haha. apart from that ive havent had another 'serious' or fulltime job but i did get so sick at one of my casual jobs that i cried once but i was 16 so no biggie haha.

OMG how good was the britney episode!?!? love love loved it!



Anonymous said...

Teared up, but never openly cried where anyone saw me. So I guess that's ok? Probably not but hey, you cant always help it. At least you got a great workout in. I'm convinced I'd start to feel better if I could at least get back to the gym!
UA won this weekend! Still ranked #1! Yall are ranked pretty high too, right?

Leia said...

Caitlin darlin', I'm so sorry to hear about this. We all get overwhelmed sometimes... I haven't been employed for a long enough time to let the stress get to me, but the anxiety of doing my Masters gave me a lot of 'down' moments (and 3 gray hairs!) so I completely understand. I think crying can be therapeutic (as can exercise, as you mentioned) - you just need to wipe the tears away and get on with it afterwards :) Big, big hugs to you!


Jessica said...

I'm impressed that you held back the tears until you were safely in the confines of your own cube. I've definitely cried at work - and had other people see. Fortunately, in my small office, it's not career suicide. But it's embarrassing when stress creeps up out of nowhere.

Alison Kinsey said...

Awww I'm so sorry you had a stressful day at work! :(
Crying definitely sucks when you're at work. I think I have come close to tears, but most of the time the waterworks come the second I leave for the day and am on my way home. I'm so happy a gym workout helped ya feel better! Hope you have a super fabulous Tuesday Caitlin!!!!!

erica said...

Sorry to hear you had a stressful day! Hope the rest of the week goes better for you. I LOVED Brit on Glee as well as the Brit on Glee!


Sher said...

Aww hun, been there, done that! Well, I'm more like little miss waterworks! I used to have such a tough time dealing with mean comments from my boss/ customers. Now I guess I'm more thick skinned:)

Just hang in there, sometimes a good cry is all you need to let it all out!


ChinkyGirLMeL said...

I did cry at work a long long time ago. It was my first job too. hehehehe. Now I know better. I do cope better as compared to 3 years ago. I hope you have a better day tomorrow at work

Unknown said...

great post x

stylefrontier said...

oh i also dont like when people see me cries
chin up my dear!
hope evrything turns out to be better


Jaime @ laviejaime said...

Ugh crying at work... I used to all the time at my old job (but it was a very special, awful situation and everyone did LOL). I haven't at my new job, though I did once book it out at the end of the day and cried in the car. I was PMSing LOL.

Feel better!

Kara said...

Oh, honey. No fun. I've totally done that before, but not in awhile. I love that you did what you needed to do and pressed on. There are days that I need to close the office door and shut my eyes for a few's amazing what a few head-clearing moments can do for your sanity. Sounds like you handled it perfectly! Hope your day today is much better <3

Panty Buns said...

Mondays have a bad reputation that way and i can imagine the kind of job you have being quite stressful, especially given the financial crunches of the last few years.

Even having a small inkling of the stressful prim and proper nature of your job i'm still a little surprised that you are so reluctant to let people see you cry, and think it's a good thing that you are able to get that release sometimes.

My mother trained me not to cry (men aren't supposed to cry) even though she always had spanked me until i did. After learning not to cry i had to fake it to get the spankings to stop. It would be good to be able to unlearn what i was taught and be able to get the full cathartic release from crying again.

Hope your Tuesday is going much better.

P.S.: i love it when you're brutally honest and direct with me in your comments. It's refreshing and i do appreciate it.

erika sorocco said...

Please, I am Miss Sensitive - there were so many times where I cried at work. Luckily, no one EVER saw me (or so I hope), so whatevs, right? Sometimes you just need to let it out - regardless of your surroundings. Also, bathroom stalls make the IDEAL place for crying jags. :P

I hope things are better for you now, Caitlin. :)

Amanda @ Life with A.Co said...

I've cried at work :S and when I think about those timeS (yes TIMES, plural), I cringe. However, sometimes you just can't help it!

A.Co @ A.Co est. 1984

Kim Axani said...

I'm having a day like that today, but it's anger instead of tears which can be much more detrimental in a work environment!
I love working out when I'm stressed too. It releases so many endorphins and I get such a high.
p.s. that's so funny how you were reading the same Snooki anorexia mag as I was. hahah too funny.

dennica pearl said...

im glad you got over that rough patch at work.

and that post wasnt pointless! it was actually pretty inspiring, and showed that its okay to show emotion sometimes :D

we forget that often, in a world where perfection is idolized.

im new follower :D
hope my blog inspires you to follow back

<3 dennica pearl
- through the eyes of a pearl
- vintage shop

drollgirl said...

i think you are a stronger person than me! i have cried at work many a time. usually things build up and up with me, and then the waterworks start. argh. whaddya gonna do. i refused to cry in my teens and early 20's (long story), and now i cry all the time. i think it is therapeutic! i feel like it is poison inside of us that just HAS to get out, and if it happens at work, so be it! :)

p.s. no, i don't bawl my head off at work constantly, but i have done everything from sniffling to hiding in the bathroom for 5 minutes to get it all out. and then there is always crying on the drive home if need be. oh god. i am sounding like the biggest crybaby ever, and i really am not! honest.

Tina said...

holy shit i TOTALLY watched that episode TWICE in 2 days lol [popping in them DVDS!] and that topic always was one of my favorites because it's true!! but thank god no one saw you!! lol

oh and britney glee was a kick ass episode

bananas. said...

i've cried at work...just recently actually...but it didnt have to do with work. personal stuff...ya know. luckily my boss made me feel better and all was well again.

but i know that feeling of sucks.

brittany on glee...awesome. but sorry my britney (s. pierce) kinda outshined her a bit.

Jess said...

Just came across your blog and love your writing. Great story - hope the stress goes away soon!

mirmirzimzim said...

aww i'm sorry. i want to hear about your day, and also your day last thursday! miss you, keep on truckin girrrrrl! xoxo.

Ms. Emmy N said...

I also relate my life to episodes of sex and the city, all of the time... but sometimes crying is exactly what we need to feel better, nothing wrong with that, just as long as no one at work catches us :)

BonBon Rose Girls Kristin said...

Sometimes a girl just needs a good cry. No shame in that! I hope today was better for you doll!

Unknown said...

Hoping you had a better Tuesday and wishing you even better rest of the week. Take Care n Have fun !!

Anonymous said...

I'm thankful that I don't have to be in a professional environment because I'd be a sobbing fool! You're tough lady, just don't let them see ya cry! (Love that episode!)

Anonymous said...

Holy hell! I just noticed you have a button! I'm grabbin it and runnin! ; )

Jessica said...

aww girl :( its ok we've all done it! glad you are feeling better. and i looooooooooove miss spears. just sayin :)

Arantxa Chavarria said...

Kaitlin sorry to hear you have all this emotions, and hope everything gets better!! We all have been there and done that(or we will some day lol) =)

o said...

I'm sorry to hear about your rough day at work:( I think sometimes all we need is a good cry to destress:) Hope ure feeling much better! Yes, Britney week was ah-mah-zing! I was blown away by the other Britney, too:)

Unknown said...

i am sorry about you

everything will be ok with time
take care

have fun

Keith said...

I hope this finds you doing well. Take care. I wish you the best.

Anonymous said...

Aw girl.. I hope youre doing a lot better! It happens to us all

the "L" spot said...

This made me want to watch sex and the city...I may have to bust out the seasons later and have a comsmo all by lonesome!

And I was a little upset about how crappy Britney's storyline was on glee they barely even showed her! They kinda just talked about her a lot!

o said...

This comment is actually in response to the post above this one hehe:) Sorry to hear about ur long week. I hear ya! The picture above is too cute! Sounds like we'll have the same routine this weekend lol Enjoy the rest of the weekend!:)

LadyBugSays ... said...

I am a crying machine at home, the smallest of things can set me off! At work I manage to control it, I don't think the entirely male(apart from myself!) workforce would appreciate my tears!