Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Mother Nature's Roast

If I were a classless person, I would probably have a running diatribe right now on Mother Nature for this crappy, crappy Summer she's given us.

If I were a classless person I would probably call her a B*tch, a wh*re, a See You Next Tuesday and tell her her thighs look fat.

If I were a classless person I would surprise her while she's nonchalantly traveling down the street, pull her into some dark alley and hold her ransom at knifepoint until she decided to give us some Sun.

If I were a classless person, I would scream every single misogynistic word I know in the vain hope that Mother Nature realizes I'm talking about her and that she's being a total B*tch (and she looks fat).

If I were a classless person and I saw Mother Nature at the bar, she wouldn't be able to even blink before I dumped my drink on her head.

Good thing I'm not a classless person...

Thanks for this crappy weather Mother Nature Dearest, I absolutely loved wearing a sweater at work today!
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11 comments:

Cupcakes and Cosmopolitans said...

Thank you! I so hope my leg gets better soon, so much pain boo!
I will totally tell Mother Nature to go to you, & give you this blazing sun that seems to be shining down on me, which I do not want at all. I will take cold/rain any day.

xo $ARMIN

Katie said...

It's probably a sign to plan a vacation. That's how I'd see it.

rinniez said...

trying my hardest to send u the sun! i expect it to reach u in about a week :) lol.
xx

Mandy said...

OMG...you CRACK me up! Sorry you had a sad summer :( BOO!

Julia, the Thanksgiving Girl said...

LOL, Caitlin!! Haha :) Summer's not really over yet, things may change! Or, come over here - we're having a full on summer. Okay, we do have occasional rains, but it's still hot.

Punctuation Mark said...

i feel exactly the same my dear... hope it cools down for you!

Gracey said...

hahaha I had to laugh during this post. I'm sorry you're having crappy weather though! :(

Klaudia B. said...

fantastic blog !

kisses,
Klaudia B.

mirmirfosho said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA this just made my day. yay for a sunny day today though!!!

Dirt On The Rocks said...

oh my tell me about it the weather has been just ridiculous these past couple weeks in socal. it's hot one week then cold and windy the next. lol it's like wtf.. PMS weather lmfao! can't make up it's damn mind.

inHERshoes said...

i will so join you in that alley and stick a knife at her! LOL

yes, you are right. the bf did make that cardboard couch since the present is not here yet. he wants to make sure that i saw it first, unfortunately, it's only available online so we're gonna have to take our chances. but now he's a little worried he won't fit in it, he's 5"11 and i'm 5'4 - i fit pretty much in everything, except in a size 0 or 2! hahaha