Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Do I like him? Yeah. Am I ready to take my Grade-A loins off the meat market? I'm not quite sure yet.

The days of green face masks, Britney Spears on repeat and 4-day long marathons of Sex & the City are over: The Boy and I have decided to move in together. [editor's note: I need new pastimes- could I be more cliche???]

After a good few years dating and many a sleepovers we've decided to bunk up and find one apartment to call our own. This is a huge step for me- and for him. And I'm tottallllly cool with it...

Though I've had male roommates before, I've never lived with a Boy I was romantic with. Even though I'm at the so-called "right" age, it still feels like a huge step. I've spent most of my life with the world being my dating Oyster- even a serial monogamist like myself always felt a little freer knowing that I could come back to my own place sans boyfriend and a closet stuffed to the brim of just my sh*t. Now, it will be stuffed to the brim with his AND my sh*t- and I assure you, his is far messier.

I'm nervous about him interfering with my Friends marathons that truly never end (I'm not giving that up!). I'm worried that he'll tire of my lounge ensemble of sweats, XXXXXXXXL henley shirts and what I deem, "Bunhead" (seen here).

Will I have to try to amp-up my sex appeal more on my downtime? Ho-hum. That's what weekends are for!!! Can't a girl just enjoy a plate of Nachos in her high school basketball warm-up clothes with raccoon-eyes because she just washed her face without using makeup remover and now the upper-half of her face is a lovely cakey, black color every now and again?!?! Is that REALLY asking too much?

Though we've been monogamous and happy together for almost 3 years, colliding our worlds onto a lease agreement does bring about a little voice in my head: I'm old, super attached and perhaps never single again.

AI-YI-YI, that's a pill to swallow.
But before you paint me as a callous b*tch, please understand that I'm not the only one who enjoys my independence. The Boy, who once acted as single as you can expect (must I say more? You get it.), is wrangling the lockdown of that part of his life. Make no mistake, I have THE world's most honest and faithful boyfriend who would always do right by me, but I know the deposit on the apartment will also feel like he's closing a chapter he has always held dear. 

During and since College, he has lived in "man caves" where a beer, a football and a video game tournament were never more than a stone's throw away. Don't get me wrong, I like sports but some of the guyish aspects will now cease to exist- such as the chew and spitters he tries to accompany games with- those days are dunzo my friend. And from 2006-2009 he lived in an apartment where he had his own bathroom. He did not clean the bathroom once during that time. ONCE. These are the things I worry about (ONCE!).

But with loss certainly comes gain. Though I know I will no longer find someone at the bar on Ladies Night and make out with them in the dark corner of the dance floor (feel the need to explain that no, I haven't been doing that during our relationship), I will find excitement in new, wonderful ways:

I look forward to the nights I cook for him and his job is to eat and I look forward to when that role is reversed and I get to relax while he creates delicious plate art (we both like cooking AND eating). I look forward to the nights we each have something different to do yet enjoy each others' company while we scurry around the apartment getting ready. I look forward to lazy Sundays full of movies, pajamas, sweats and big breakfasts. I look forward to coming home to him on great and trying days. I look forward to what I don't even know will come yet.
The fear is still there (oh dear Lord will he help me clean? And can we please have a closed-door bathroom policy) but the excitement is overwhelming.

C'est la vie
- here goes nothing!

What is your experience
(or lack thereof) of living with a significant other?

*Trivia Bonus: Can you tell me where my post title came from? I'll ♥ you forever!


Lindsay said...

Congrats! I love living with my boyfriend, its been 2 years...last night I came home to dinner and all my laundry done, it has its perks :)

JanandJill.com said...

I really like this post and all the pics with you and your bf are so cute. I think your big move in will go really well and I think you'll be okay with the football times. I've definitely had all your fears in the past, and I've actually never lived with a guy yet so I can't give much advice


Mandy @ In the Fashion Lane said...

CONGRATS my friend! I totally get where you are coming from and every excitement and fear is truly legit. I am sure it will be an amazing transition in your life. wish you the very best! XXOO

PS. Pic number 5...your eye make up looks insanely gorgeous. OH em gee!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! Jared is the only guy I've lived with, and we didn't live together before we were married. We did stay at each other's apartments a lot, usually for days at a time since we were never in the same city. It made the living together pretty smooth!

| C AND C | Sarmin said...

I think I am alil' to excited for this, & this has nothing to do with me...You & the boy are too cute for words! I totally approve of this.
& seriously, in three years he never cleaned his bathroom?

& I am gonna go with Friends for title.

PS: Are you two gonna get a puppy? That would be so cute!


Anonymous said...

congratulations to you two!!!!!!!! i think this is a wonderful step and you wont regret it!!! really. it will totally be an adjustment, but like you said, it means we are getting older :)

i have lived with two past significant others. not necessarily because i wanted to, but because i wanted to test the waters before moving further in a relationship...and being away from VA, my home, i needed people i could trust to live with since living alone could be so expensive, and they were at the time, the closest people in my life. both were good experiences for the most part :) the relationships didnt last, but living with someone wasnt hell. it makes the stupid things fun...like cooking, grocery shopping together, rainy sundays, stupid shows you'll both connect with on TV and wonder continuously why yall are into the show, putting up holiday decor, etc. it really will be fun :)

and i assume that quote comes from friends since now i know you're super into that show and i have never seen it :)

Barry said...

Title: Phoebe once said that to Ross.

As for the rest of your post I have nineteen years with my wife to draw from and will respond later (I'd prefer to do it by e-mail if that's okay).

Dree said...

I'm so happy for you guys! I think it is a big step, but you guys have been together for a long time. And no, you don't need to be fancy fancy in your downtime - don't guys say they like to see their girlfriends casual? Also, if he hates Friends marathons, you know you've got a serious problem, lol!

Unknown said...

O..Congratulations..You will love it!! Just my 2 cents - Be a little patient :) and don't lose your temper :)
Cheers !!

Julia, the Thanksgiving Girl said...

Oh woah, already? :) Congrats on the decision! :) Seems it's only a little while back you moved to your current apartment... It's kind of unexpected, but hey, I'm excited to see your new place soon!

In the "ugly" pic you really do remind me of Kate Winslet in Titanic. Not sure why exactly. Btw, are those shower curtains in the bunhead pic? Looks so cool!

Johanna said...

So exciting! A big move and so much to look forward to. You guys look cute together!

erika sorocco said...

Ah, I'm so excited for you, Caitlin! This is an incredible step for the both of you - an incredible step that is perfect!

I have never lived with a significant other before, so I can't really weigh in on the topic. But...I think that the two of you have come to a point in your relationship where this is the perfect next step to take! :)

Jax said...

Scary? Yes!! But also super exciting! You guys are taking it to the next level. And that's great for your relationship.

Although I so hear you on the whole "me" time thing. I love when I am sitting home solo wearing only a shirt and boxers with my eye makeup dripping down my face. Sigh...date nights with Glamour, wine, and Sex in the City (Which I will watch soon, I promise!) don't have to come to an end. Just ship him off to that man cave for the night and enjoy it. :)

Unknown said...

Congratulations! I have never lived with a significant other but my boyfriend & I are planning on moving in together in the next year so I can empathize with feeling a bit panicked over it. I think it's a really great way to grow in your relationship & in the end all that anxiety will just turn into excitement! =)

By the way, thank you so much for the really kind message you left on my blog! That was such a kind thing to say & definitely brightened my day!
Thank you!

The Urban Umbrella

Candice said...

How exciting! I think it's best at least for me to live together before getting serious or married, you learn things about each other that you never would have if you didn't live together. Good and Bad. I loved living with my husband before we got married he likes to cook and clean and we became even closer, so it's great:) your pics are cute

Elle Sees said...

You're both growing up in a sense, and that's awesome! Its gonna be amazing! And if not, theres always the dark corner of the bar! Jk

{andthisiswhatshesaid} said...

Congrats! I've been dating my guy for almost 4 years (July) and we've been living together for almost 3. I was scared to move in with him, but I love it and couldn't imagine without it. It's hard to adjust in the beginning... their pet peeves, you didn't know about show up like how they put close NEXT to the hamper and not in it, or leave dishes in the sink that are starting to crust, or how they leave the toilet seat up... and its hard to adjust, BUT go in with an open mind that THIS IS THE BOY YOU LOVE and just accept that he will have annoying things, just like you will... and things will work out :)

yay for you!

Bronzed Humanity said...

Awww yay babe!! BIG STEP>>>BIG BIG STEP! I TOTALLY understand! You got this...show us how its done!

Hot Pink Day
Shop Blue Vanilla

Anonymous said...

This is so exciting! Yes, it does take (a long) time to adjust to living with someone you're romantically involved with, but it'll be great. Something I had a tough time with was learning to tell my boyfriend (not husband) when I needed him to do things... instead of just being mad that he didn't do them. As cliche as it sounds, as long as you're both communicating when you need the other to do something differently, things will work out well. :) Good luck!! I'm excited for you! --Harriet

Anonymous said...

Whoops, meant "now husband," not "not husband."

Casey said...

I love this post! So wonderfully written, and I bet so so so many people can relate.

I have only lived with one significant other before and he ended up becoming my fiance and then husband. I remember feeling like it was such a huge deal, and then realizing it didn't change much for us other than that we got to see each other all the time (we were living 2 hours apart before living together). My (now) husband is my very best friend, so living with him is awesome!

Stevie said...


I lived by myself for most of my 20s. I had roommates here and there and absolutely HATED it. But living with my boyfriend-turned-fiance has been the best ever.

We are very similar in that we both need alone time, we're both lazy, we're both messy, and many other things. We may not have the cleanest house, but we do have a pretty happy house :-)

Good luck, I hope your experience is as good as mine has been!

Alison Kinsey said...

awww i am so excited for you Caitlin!!! a big step indeed, but a wonderful one. my boyfriend and i have been dating since high school, and we first moved in together when i was 22. we lived together for almost two years, and then moved back in with our parents for two years. so it was kinda weird. we wanted to save money and focus on our careers and stuff. fast forward to present day, we're living together again (for real this time - no turning back!) and couldn't be happier. there are definitely a lot of fun things. although living alone is certainly great too, it's nice to feel like you have a partner in life and in the day to day situations. your apartment in the city was so cute though, will you be sad to leave it?!!

naghmeh said...

AAhhh congratulations that is a HUGE step! I've never lived with a boy before and won't until I get married. I actually enjoy my independence also, I love knowing that I can come to my own place and just hang out. I love to read alot and just being in a bit of a quiet place sometimes so having my own space is important. And as much as I love my boyfriend I am not ready to move in with him yet!

Amanda @ Life with A.Co said...

Wow Caitlin!!! Big move, big excitement!! It's hard to believe you've been together three years and are moving in together just now - very admirable and I think that's so great!! You've really given yourselves a good amount of time to live apart before making the move together, and that's super.

As far as advice... Hmmm... Don't stop making an effort to be girly (yes, SHUT the bathroom door, at least for #2 ;), try to bite you tongue on the cleaning shit (omg, so much easier said than done) and don't lose your physical affection for one another (touch! grab! smooch!)

All the best in the next chapter of your relationship together, and your life!!

PS - your post was really enjoyable to read, honesty can be so humourous!! (raccoon eyes & basketball warm up outfit, hehe).

Leia said...

This is so exciting! Well I had never lived with a romantic boy till I got married and I worried about all these things too, but it turns out they don't really matter and every single second has been wonderful :). I was worried about him seeing me without make-up on, but he actually seems to prefer me that way! I wouldn't worry too much, just enjoy every second of it :)

Also, the 'ugly' picture of you - I love it!!!! You look sooooooo natural and pretty and happy!

Sierra said...

I'm happy for you that you're moving in with the boy! I'm sure you guys will find a great apt and it will be nice coming home to one another after a long day at work.

The longest I ever stayed with BK is three months and its like having a roommmate except its SO much better bc they get you and respect you. BK is also super messy so I have to pick up after him a lot. And its different bc we don't have our own place yet. But I think I've still gone through it and enjoy it. I'm sure you will too! I hope to move in with BK sometime next year. Hope it comes soon!

I'm sure you'll love living with the boy and I'm happy for you!

happy hour 24/7 said...

BWHAHAAHAHA ... i don't know why i just wrote that, but congrats, lady! i'm not sure if i told my living with the boy experience at one post or another lifetime, but i'm not gonna bore you with mine. i just want you to enjoy this decision and the future with your boy!

Ashleigh said...

You guys are adorable. Don't worry, everything will be fine. Just be excited, respectful of time & space & you'll be fine ;)

Mandee said...

oh my gosh! Congrats! And, I feel like we are the same person right now because my boy and I just put down a deposit too! We are moving in together next weekend! I feel so many of the same things as you. We have also been dating for 3 years and I have a similar closet fear, friends addiction, love my sweats and am sooooo looking forward to the cooking/eating, being together! In fact, I feel like I could just direct my friends and family to your page to see how I feel about the move. So crazy and so exciting! congrats!

Marian said...

YAY!! Way to take the leap!!

Charlotte said...

Is it a Phoebe quote? I'm pretty sure it is now I've said it.

this post is so cute, I live with my boyfriend so know how scary the big move in is, especially the 'knowing you'll pretty much never be single again' part of things..

Good luck, have fun, you'll love it :) xx

Kara said...

Ahhhh congrats!! This is a super fun post and I can honestly say that moving in with Ryan was a complete and total blast. I still have my SATC green face mask days...I'll simply announce: "It's UGLY time!" and tell him he can leave if he doesn't wanna see the scary Kara :) All the cooking, drinking and spontaneous fort-making or video game marathons make it all worthwhile :)

Unknown said...

This made me want to cry. I am so happy for you. It reminds me of yesteryear, back in the day when I . . . wait, I actually have never experienced what you're about to experience -a healthy relationship that involves living together. I am so damn happy for you. :)

Btw, the "ugliest picture" is gorgeous of you -I love it of the both of you. You have little to no makeup on? ...you look absolutely beautiful.