Sunday, April 1, 2012

Six Hundred & Forty Million

I was rich on Friday. A multi-millionaire. Or so I thought.

After laughing my way through the Lottery coverage and trying to wrap my mind around the fact that someone could win over 640 Million dollars, I decided to just throw my hat in the ring. On my lunch break, I went 10-dollars in: which officially meant I was game for the jackpot. My notion to keep "reason" at the forefront of the fun however, came to a halt soon thereafter. I hosted my Little Brother over for dinner and our conversation ultimately drifted to the Mega Millions. What started as "yeah, I basically threw away money buying some tickets" quickly turned into "well... we could win, I mean we are playing. And what if we won?" And from there, it just became a slippery-slope into pure delusion as we played off each other's fantasies and started to believe that we might... just.... win.

and if that day had come, here's a few things that I would be doing:

[Editor's Note: For the sake of this being a light post, I'm just going to decree right now that it's a selfish list. Goes without saying that I would additionally take care of everyone dear to me and allow them to fulfill their dreams, donate to causes beyond my wildest imagination, give Portland soooo much money and root myself in philanthropy. Now that THAT is out of the's the shallow part]

... Buy a Chicago Penthouse- with cash. I would fly there immediately after getting my dollars and get me a place: a huge, overlooking-the-city, grotesquely extravagant Penthouse place. I should have won last week because Juanita Jordan has one that basically has my name on it. What a sham!

[^via Can I please divorce Michael Jordan and get this?]

... get every piece of amazing art that I can get my hands on. I've waited my whole life to be in a position to walk into an Art gallery and say 'I'll take that one!' - but with the lottery winnings, it'd be more like "I'll buy the Gallery". I'd even buy the Artist- not sure what starving artist wouldn't love to paint me beautiful murals on demand in my guest house, rent-free!


... I'd get Hollywoody beautiful. After someone has nestled into the Hollywood life and reached a certain level of fame, they somehow begin to just appear... gorgeous. I don't know what the hell goes on behind the curtain of the rich and famous but I'd be unapologetically a part of the club: make me dazzzzzzzzle!

[^via from everyone you know to... eyes pop out of your head hot.]

... I'd take everyone I know on the vacation of a lifetime (and myself, hello world trip!). Friends & Family- you book it, I got your back. Enjoy my private jet! And onhand masseur- a must!


... I'd pay Britney Spears to perform at my Birthday, Wedding, Anniversary... Saturday. She'd be my new BFF, whether she'd like it or not!

[^via Doesn't get any better- I don't care who says otherwise]

... I'd spend my days taking photography courses in major cities. I don't like anything more than I like taking pictures and I would jump on the opportunity to do that all the livelong day ....In Vera Wang.

... I'd live a life of charity. I'd donate, donate, donate all the while attending the fundraisers that come along with it. I'd be honored and humbled at the chance to meet all of the hardworking people who make the world a better place and happily donate to their inspired causes- while I'm adorned in a ballgown.

[^via If only our entire lives took place in a ballroom]

... I'd have someone make me Chicken Piccata all the livelong day.

[^via amazing recipe at that link too!]

...I'd make the word "epic" illegal to use to describe one's weekend. And strive for harsh punishments for those who use it to describe any part of their social life. Did you honestly just say that getting a few beers with friends last weekend was 'epic'? Off with your head!

[^via thou shalt NOT say 'epic' unless of course it's for these reasons]

What would YOU do with the earnings?



Kate Sparkles said...

oh can I second your plea to make the over-use of 'epic' illegal. Kids these days, they did it with 'awesome' as well and a word that once described the strength of the gladiators also applies to getting your burger at lunch??

If I won the big money.. I'd be straight on my dream trip - Every Disney theme park in a row.. Start at Hong Kong, onto Tokyo, then Paris onto Orlando and finish it off with the original in CA..

I'd start building my dream home right away and probably get pregnant like, tomorrow because I'd certainly be able to afford a baby!

it's nice to dream...

Unknown said...

hahaha wow caitlin what an epic list! ;)
love the britney idea, i would do the same but make hilary duff come with her too.
and id throw expensive extravegant parties all the time and invite everyone i know and all their friends and have staff to run it all, and have my own lil VIP area.
oh the dreams.

AVY said...

That penthouse for cash sounds like a plan, but I would get on in New York.

/ Avy

Hanz, Fashionista Era Design said...

FABBBB POST!! I think this is something we all have thought of in our life...winning millions and getting famous hhaha...;) i have such a longggggggggggg list, buy all the designers i ever wanted, meet my fav celebs and party with them :p travel travel more :)) buy all thet hings i wanted for my family! charity for sure! the list seems similar to yours tho heheh!!

Jax said...

LMAO I agree with EVERY single one of these, except for the chicken picatta. hahaha But making Epic illegal sounds almost as good as Queen Britney becoming your bff!!! I love this :)


I love this post. It made me laugh quite a few times. Love the list. I was daydreaming too Friday about what if I won. My list consist of:

1. Paying off my student loans
2. Paying off my car to buy my dream car which is a G500 by Mercedes.
3. Give my man a couple million dollars because he has helped me so much
4. Take care of my close family members
5. Have the guys from HGTV not only design my house but build it from the bottom up
6.Give to charity.
7. Hire a hair and makeup team to do my hair and makeup everyday.
8. Put money away to invest whenever the market get better but until then put them in CD's
9. Start a family after I'm done drinking my liver away.
10. Have the closet of my dreams.
11. Travel.

Ok I think I'm done

AM said...

Your list is so adorable. I also often wonder how my life would change if I even won just a million.

erika sorocco said...

I LOVE the fact that you would basically buy Britney Spears for every special occasion in your life! :P

Vanessa V. said...

Awww If I won the lottery I can say now everything I do, but for sure I had to have a penthouse in NYC and an appartment in London. Travel a lot, with friends, family and even alone! Charity, always! And a loooot of other things! But, instead Britney, I think I want Ian Somerhalder only for me everyday after work ahahahahah :P

Panty Buns said...

I like the views from your dream Chicago Penthouse You do like spacious accommodations don't you? I only by a single lottery ticket when I do because I figure if I give it a chance and it's meant to happen it will. I think about what I'd do to. If it's a chump change lottery win and is less than a CEO's average annual compensation (greedy pigs) then I doubt I'd vary much. If it was a big win I'd honour my previous promises. I promised to split any lottery winnings with my ex-wife so after taxes I'd get 1/4 of the cash jackpot. Then I'd call the woman I made the permanent proposal of marriage to 42 years ago. If she still wouldn't talk to me then I'd start thinking of setting up some protective trust and buying a couple of cottages - maybe 4,000 square feet each - one summer and one winter - in addition to my current home. I'd have my current home fixed up and try to figure out good locations to ride out the cold winters and hot summers. Or maybe I'd get a huge mansion with climate control and never leave the house. I don't know. It is fun to dream about. I think I'd want to donate some to feed the homeless too.

Bonnie said...

If I had that kind of money, I would totally pay Britney Spears to be my BFF.
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

Julie Ann Lozada said...

haha, i wish your day dreaming do come true, don't forget me... just give me one car! haha

It’s a GIRL Thing

Ben & Cassie said...

hahaha I LOVE this post, i always used to fantasize about this when my dad would buy a lottery ticket...too bad you can't in UTAH haha....your list is basically my list!

Lindsey @ The Hill House said...

Ha! For some reason, the fact that you said "livelong day" at least two times in this post makes me laugh. Not sure why, but it does. :) Oh, I could do a lot of damage with that kind of money had I won. But you have to play to win, so I guess I was just SOL from the start. :) I'm sorry you didn't win; I was looking forward to that vacation of a lifetime. You know, 'cause we're that tight and all!

And yes, the decision is that there shall be no bambinos for me until after I get out of school. Bummer, but probably the right decision. :(

Unknown said...

Great post! Hilarious too!
I could spend the whole day daydreaming away what I would do with that kind of money.....

The Urban Umbrella

Bravoe Runway said...

Oh yes Juanita's penthouse is absolutely gorgeous! I didn't even bother to play because I never was reported on our local news that someone spent $2K on lotto tix...insane right?

Jaime @ laviejaime said...

oh a girl can dream...right? I would quit my job and work on blogging/fashion freelance stuff full time, go on a fab vacation to Europe/Italy, and pay off my mom's mortgage! Oh and buy a yellow Mini :)

Youngman Brown said...

I'd totally buy various penthouses in notable cities around the country and world. Chicago would be one of the first.

I would not, however, pay Britney Spears a dime.

happy hour 24/7 said...

it is nice to dream, isn't it?! i don't exactly know what i'd do with the earnings, but i know what i'd do with my life. quit my job. travel the world. teach in a different country. go back to school (get a phD or something), volunteer lots. okay, i'll give money to charity and my parents. oh and get the damn st. bernard dog!

A "cheery" disposition said...

Haha I love this post. I love talking about what I would do if i won the lottery. So many things but mostly travel and be with my friends and family.

Kara said...

Oh man your lottery winnings would be SO EPIC ;)

Honestly I always feel like I have the worst answers to these things...I'd really just love to have a nice, modest house with everything I want (barista on-hand please), endless cash to buy clothes/shoes/accessories and have an awesome closet, perhaps an assistant just to help with boring shit I don't want anything to do with, and a summer home in a different state. Not country, cause I'd want to be able to let my friends stay in the summer home and I wouldn't want to make them travel far.

Also? An extra smaller car, a huge herd of prize sheep for Eva to herd to her heart's delight, and a Ferrari for my dad. :)

Kara said...

And my silly husband would buy a stupid boat.

Slamdunk said...

I like your ideas for celebrating a huge cash windfall. Your photography fun from around the world would make for some great blogging.

I am not sure I would change too many things in my life if I hit it big--start my own well-financed foundation to aid the families of missing persons for sure would be the major one.

Style-Delights said...

ha ha ha ha!! Can't stop laughing at the last point and image!! In the twitter and FB culture, EVERYTHING is epic/supercool/awesome!! Good use of the lotto money that would have been!! BTW, I spend 1 hour talking to my best friend on phone where we plotted how we will spend the money if we won! Unfortunately, all the plans remained just plans!! But dreaming don' hurt nobody!! Hope you are having a wonderful day!
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auntiepeep said...

I loathe the term "epic". As a high school coach, I hear it daily and I cringe every time.

| C AND C | Sarmin said...

I am super shallow & totally materialist, most of my money will be spend on my wants...However, the parents & the nephews will be taken cares off, & lions in Africa, or where ever there are lions in the world.

& my 1st time playin', I want the "Mega-ball" #, so I think I won $3, I need to go cash that in. (I am gonna do post on it)

& I am so with you on the Britney thing...This is when I wish Kim had talent.


Mandy @ In the Fashion Lane said...

This is quite the list! WIsh I had come up with one. It sure is fun to dream, isn't it! I love your disclaimer, while not necessary. I want the Hollywood dazzle as well! The before and after Carrie pics are exactly why! What is the damn secret :)

Sierra said...

I love what you would do with your money - sounds like a blast. I think I would love to take photography classes and travel the world. Oh - and spend lots of time by the ocean. :)

June said...

Super cute post! I loved reading it!