Two weeks ago I fell on my knee very hard. The kind of fall that little kids are accustomed to as they sprint down the street, trip over their shoelaces and go flying into the pavement. That kind of fall. After a week of severe pain and realizing there was NO outward sign of injury, I decided to head to the Doctor to make sure that I wasn't strolling around with a bone injury. Well thankfully, the muscle beneath my knee is just badly bruised and needs weeks of TLC. But I did get a diagnosis at the Doctor that I had long suspected but couldn't bring myself to fathom its intensity: Since moving in with the boy I've gained 25 motherf&^*ing, whopping pounds.
|This is my body when I work out 4-5 days a week for an hour and don't eat like a pig. NOT.THAT.HARD.CAITLIN.|
There have been many signs - the little belly that has never, ever been there before. The usual go-to dresses that I suddenly feel the urge to burn in a fire after trying them on. The fact that I just have felt generally shittier in stores. They've been there- yet, I have been too scared to step on a scale and see the damage.
So what the f*ck?
|My Sis on Left, me on Right: My High School Body- couldn't have gained weight if I tried!|
With great humility I must say that this has been the first time I have ever had an issue with my weight. Before that sounds condescending or conceited- let me quickly explain why this is so in 3 reasons.
1) Body History: I had one of those eat-anything metabolisms up until College. I was always skinny without trying in elementary, middle and high school. So it was just a non-issue for me.
2) Working It Out has been a Lifestyle: I played Sports my entire life and was a 4-year Athletic Letterer at my high school which meant year-round, 5-day workouts. Even if my body had transitioned into gaining weight easier, I wouldn't have known as I exercising so much that nothing would have stayed on. When I did start to gain weight in College- due to my years in Sports-I knew how to maintain it to a degree I felt comfortable with. No problem there. Eassssy-Peasssy! Pass the Keg Tap!
|I did okay weight-wise in College due to my athletic youth. But I am still friends with this doofus, so I didn't do so great. (wink, wink Jeej).|
3)Healthy body image: As I've gotten older, it has been much harder to keep weight off- but even though I don't have the body I did at 18, I'm f*cking okay with it. I don't need to be super skinny (and I promise you, I do not want to be!!) so maintaining a FIT body has been easy to me. My butt will ALWAYS be big. My thighs will always be rotund: All about realistic expectations!
So why the weight gain?
Though I am asking myself this a lot lately (why has a lifetime of healthy body habits all of a sudden changed?), I feel there's a few reasons:
1) Weeknights: I have never liked hanging out with people on the weeknights. Minus the occasional Thursday, I use my weekdays for work, gym, sleep. Even when I would take a couple days off here and there, they would only be filled with more TV. Now I LIVE with a friend. It's sooo much easier to lounge around. And the nights I skip are detrimental- we revel in the break and make big dinners and crack a bottle of wine.
2) I am NOT a boy. Let's just say that I live with one of those classic guys who can eat like sh*t and not gain an ounce. Thus, when he prepares those meals, I need to be b*tchslapped and reminded that it will affect me differently.
3) I'm attached. While I still enjoy opposite-sex attention like any other red-blooded human, I don't feel AS much of a need for it as I did when I was single. As normal as that is it kind of sucks, I think the drive to gain that attention (as long as it's in a healthy manner!) makes for a solid body. [Hi Babe, I'll be flirting in the name of my Goal Weight. K? K! XOXO].
|My Post-College Skinniest. But I was mid-breakup. So besides Work- all I did was cry and exercise.|
So what am I going to do?
Well, despite KNOWING that I'm going to fully return to my Sunday-Wednesday workouts (and no wine!), I've decided to jumpstart with THIS PLAN.
Which means this is my meal for today and tomorrow to get it going.
|No: I am not a fan of crazy diets. Yes: I am a fan of a 1-2 days cleanse every now and again.|
Wish me lots of luck, plenty of motivation and the ability to remind myself that I do not want to ever wind up in one of those electronic scooters. And once I actually lose some weight from this, be ready for some before/after pictures. Definitely made The Boy take some "BEFORES" tonight and bless his little eat-whatever-he-wants heart, he tried very hard to act like he didn't notice my weight gain... kinda. His eyes speak. I'm debating starting a fight over it.
|Why you make me fat?!|
In regards to weight, it all comes down to how you feel. And as I know and feel that this is not the right weight for me, I'm going to change it- simple as that. And by 'simple' I mean 'holy h@ll this will suck'.
Have you ever faced a weight showdown?
Have you ever faced a weight showdown?