Thursday, February 14, 2013

Love is Yours.

Though I didn't know it, I had love in my life from the moment I first gasped for air. It was a gift given to me: a family who loved me.
I felt love more as I grew: knowing that my Mom, Dad, Sister and my Brother were the entire makeup of my joy in life. I remember thinking of the prospect of losing them and feeling so scared I had to hide under the covers (a trick I still use today for that horrible thought).

As I grew: love expanded. I felt love for friendly cats I found on walks. I felt love for the red sun on my skin. I felt love for the little Caterpillar I studied as he crawled over my fingers, trying to get wherever he needed to go that day. I felt love for a new type of family after my Parents' divorce. Though it took a lot of getting used to, I realized I had many more people to love in my family now.

I cherished true love for friends. I fell in love with act of time wasted with a buddy. With secret societies formed in the middle of the hollow bush at the park. With the gift of our mutual growth and milestone after milestone only adding to our stories. 

Eventually, I reached an age where I experienced real romantic love. I basked in the glow of a young courtship, exciting kisses and pretending we'd be together forever. I fell in deep love. I fell in strong love

I lost love. I experienced the heartache of a broken union. I felt hurt. I felt devastated. I felt consumed with grief.

I mourned. I cherished the memories. Eventually, I felt like me again.

I still had the love of friends. I had the love of family. I still had love for a hot cup of tea at night. I still had love for the letters my Nana would send me. I had love for my crummy old car, which allowed me to escape at will. I still had the sheer joy in the love received from the family dog pawing at the door to greet me. I had love for the smell of my Dad's pancakes on Sundays. And later in life and with the accompanying maturity, romantic love came again.
Love has always been present. No matter my relationship status. Love is inherent to your being: romantic love, family love, unconditional love, lost love, new love, old love, difficult love - it's all yours for the taking.

And if you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around you.
Happy Valentine's Day. 
(And to you dear Boy: Thanks for being my Valentine.)
[Images VIA 1.2.3]
Photobucket

18 comments:

Pat Hatt said...

Wow, maybe you need to go to love anonymous or something with just so much love haha it is there in life all around even if we don't know it, and the cat loves the love for cats. Now you got me loving things, see what all your love did? lol

Lindsey @ The Hill House said...

That's a great view of things. Makes the day a little prettier when you start it off with such a positive view. I hope you enjoy your day!

Sam said...

Outstanding and beautiful post Caitlin. It's so true - I also feel like my whole life has been filled with love! Happy VDay to you! :)

http://theworldfrommystilettos.blogspot.ca/

Panty Buns said...

"Love Actually" is my favourite movie. I love the introductory message. It was another song in the movie "Love Actually", "Here With Me" by Dido playing in the background near the end of scene 8 of the movie with Mark and Juliette, had me playing it over and over crying and wondering why until the memories of my greatest love whom I haven't held her for over 41 years, and sent me digging through old boxes and finding her old letters and a couple of photos - and then getting back in touch almost four decades later. This year I sent her gifts from Sephora (with the message "Happy Valentine's Day". Crossing in the mail, I got a card from her saying "This is NOT a Valentine" - just a photo of her dog with her artwork on the front having a heart in a dog's mouth. I'd like to think there's still love actually there anyway. She emailed saying she loved what I sent. I hope she will feel like meeting again some day. I still love her and always will.
I knew you and "The Boy" are very much in love but didn't know about your experiences of heartache, loss, or about a divorce and of your experiences with different kinds of love. I hope love stays a big part of your world. Happy Valentine's Day to you and your love.

Panty Buns said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Panty Buns said...

Sorry about the deleted comment. For some reason my comment double-posted so I deleted the duplicate.

Karrine Beasley said...

This is the best valentine post i have read today!!! I love the acknowledgement of all the different variations on love and taking the time to be grateful for everything you have :) xx

PorkStar said...

Wow, such a nice post. Everything you said, everything you experienced has increased the love in your soul, for which you give more and consequently receive more.

This is probably the best Valentine's post I've read thus far!

Kisti Belle said...

You have a gift girl, and it's definitely your writing! I LOVE to read it (no joke here and I'm not just being friendly either!). I hope you had a love -ly day :)

Kate Sparkles said...

Gorgeous post!!

Erika said...

This is truly the sweetest, most heartfelt post about love / Valentine's Day that I have ever read, Caitlin. I love everything about it; and I love you for putting this type of love into words. :)

Naghmeh said...

aw I LOVE this post. It's so sweet and heartfelt and all so very true. Love is all around us and sometimes we just forget to look.
xo

Elle Sees said...

love this!! i hope you had a wonderful day full of love :))

GeorginaGoodman said...

cute photos

http://georginagoodman.blogspot.co.uk
xxx

Charlotte | Charlotte's Web said...

Great post :) so many people forget that love comes in so many forms other than romantic love.. my first love was definitely my parents xx

Deidre said...

Oh my goodness, I love this post so much! It's the stranger love/blogger love that I find so intoxicating these days!

Vivek Nanda said...

What a post!
All I can say my friend- You are spreading the love, much love !

Miss Caitlin S. said...

You all are so sweet- thank you!