Wednesday, January 28, 2015

10 Reasons Why I'll Never Get A Tattoo

1. Because at one point, I thought it was perfectly great to wear a scarf, a denim mini, 700-degree Uggs and BARE LEGS out into the world.

2. Because at one point, I may have suggested that you too should rock these awesome Disco gold sleeves while making a kissy face...

3. Because I spent over $70 on this Ed Hardy Tank Top. And probably would have suggested you spend your money on it too.

4. Because I rocked-out Orange Skin like it was my job.
^Spirit of full-disclosure: I still have a soft spot for orange skin. #Early2000sTeenager4Life
5. Because there was a point in my life when I decided to wear a turkey platter bejeweled belt with low-cut pale-blue corduroys with a "Queen of Rock" mini-shirt when I'm fairly certain I only had Britney Spears/Aguilera in my CD player at that time.

6. Because I not only found it appropriate to get brunch in this outfit back in the mid-2000s but I also thought that somehow, in someway, in some realm - I should be doing reverse peace-signs in photos.

7. Because I put this outfit together for myself at 24-years-old. And it wasn't for a Jersey Shore themed party.

8. Because in my past, I decided I should fry my hair yellow and then accent it with black roots. Perf! 

9. Because I actually owned and proudly wore multiple versions of those huge grandma sunglasses. I hate them more than anything.

10. Because I somehow told myself that I should dye my hair the color/texture of hay and start wearing cheap hats that clearly came from some place like Claire's.

So... as you can tell from my years of fashion disasters and creative flaws that I thought at the time were fabulous, there is no way I'll ever be smart enough to pick a tattoo for myself that I won't utterly hate the year later. And that's why my skin is as pure as can be: Because I consistently hate my style choices of the past.

Except that orange skin. Oh how I miss the sweet allure of some 2002 tanning beds.

Tats for you?

5 comments:

Pat Hatt said...

lol well at least you learned from your mistakes, 10 mistakes later. I don't think I'd ever get one as I don't see the point. You could always get a fake tattoo and test it out

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Hi Caitlyn!!! Superb blog you have. I go back and forth: sometimes I think I'd want one, while other times I think I would not. We'll see which way I ultimately land :)

Michael D'Agostino said...

I own a little book called No Tattoos Before You're Thirty, which is a little collection of advice he'll pass on to his children that he wishes someone had told him. He says that by the time you're 30, you should be out of the woods when it comes to getting something you'll regret later. I'm going to follow that advice.

Jax said...

Girl, I could post a few pics of my own that make your orange look like a light glow. To make it worse, I totally rocked the jet black hair and long french mani. Basically, my friends and I were Jersey Shore contestants way before it was even a thing. Lol!!! Is it wrong that I like your Jersey Shore outfit above and totally want to copy it??? Hahahha

But, no, I will not get a tattoo. There is only one thing I love enough to engrave into my body, and there is no place that won't sag and be appropriate to put her name at the same time. Haha Not to mention, I have a fear of hepatitis. No thank you...

Femme Frugality said...

Haha! I'm the same way...what I would have picked 5 years ago I'd hate today. And you don't even want to see my fashion faux pas. Plus skin gets old and wrinkly along with those tattoos.