Monday, August 24, 2015

When You Should Avoid Portland At All Costs

Good morning!

By the time this posts, I will be on my way to California. The drive from Portland to San Francisco is about 11 hours so needless to say, I will have a lot of time to myself over all those miles.  Just as I was wrapping up my time in Portland this last week and shoving all of my belongings into San Francisco bound boxes, the city I was ready to depart was actually trending on Facebook. I couldn't help but go and see what all the fuss was about. 

Well, it was there that I read that Portland was called-out by Glenn Beck as the #1 city to avoid at all costs. My first thought was just this: Shut up. No seriously, shut up. What the h*ll do you even know about Portland, Glenny boy? Who are you to completely demolish the reputation of one city without even having a real understanding of what Portland is and who its inhabitants are? 

Then I started rationally thinking beyond my initial defensiveness and felt that I had reacted a bit hastily. What do I care if Glenn Beck (or anyone else) says that? Why would I let anyone who bases their opinion about a region off of mainstream media's interpretation of Portland (largely based off of a TV show). Sure, it's kooky and weird here but it's also a city full of variety in other arenas and there's so many people who have zero interest in the offbeat vibe that garners the most attention

So yes, please DO avoid Portland if you can't appreciate the following:

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE DOWNTOWN VENTURES AROUND EVERY CORNER, EVERY TIME OF YEAR

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE BEING 40 MINUTES FROM THESE VIEWS

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE HAPPY HOUR ON POPULATED, ARTISTIC STREETS

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE NATURAL BEAUTY AND ALL ITS BOUNTY

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE TOASTING THE END OF A WORK WITH WITH DECADENT WINE AND SEAFOOD MEALS

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE SUNSET DINNERS WITH YOUR BEST FRIENDS

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE FREE, MANICURED, GORGEOUS PARKS

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE OUTDOOR FESTIVALS 

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE MURALS WITH POIGNANT MESSAGES

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE HIKES WITH ASTOUNDING VIEWS

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE HAND-CRAFTED IPAS OR LOCALLY MADE WINE

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE BEING A QUICK JAUNT FROM THE STUNNING OREGON COAST

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE STEPPING OUT OF YOUR HOME AND STEPPING INTO A LAND OF ART

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE MEETING PEOPLE WITH A DIFFERENT VIBE THAN YOUR OWN WHO ENHANCE YOUR LIFE RATHER THAN PLAGUE IT

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE EVER-CHANGING MENUS OF CHEFS' ARTISTIC VENTURES

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE LIVE MUSIC, BEST FRIENDS, FASHION AND SANGRIA ON A SUNDAY.

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE WHITE WATER RAFTING

AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE A CITY THAT COMES ALIVE WITH CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

AND ... AVOID PORTLAND AT ALL COSTS IF YOU HATE THE LOVE OF FAMILY & FRIENDS.

Truly. If you do not appreciate all that it has and can't see the beauty in this space- then please do avoid it at all costs.

So as I depart Portland for San Francisco (number 2 on his list mind you) to begin the next chapter, I do so with great appreciation, love and admiration for this city which houses so many of my stories. Thanks for teaching me about the joys of living downtown and my absolute love of walking everywhere. Thank you for showing me that the best cities are made up of a huge variety of people who keep life interesting. Thanks for teaching me faith in many forms. Thank you for the ease of access I have enjoyed to so many amazing people who I love more than I could possibly verbalize. Thanks for great wine. Thanks for hot summers. Thanks for being my home. Yes, thank you so much for being my sacred home for all these years and for helping mold me into the woman I am today. Thank you.

I will miss you (and all that you entail) terribly.

[Turns the page on the chapter]

5 comments:

Pat Hatt said...

I hope the drive goes smoothly. Some people are just looking for attention. But wow, you go to #1 and #2 on his list haha that is pretty funny. Pathetic how some bash what they don't know, but then who really cares about such nuts anyway.

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

What a beautiful see you later to the city that made you.

I would like to strive to live in places Glenn Beck hates.

Madilyn Quinn said...

I hate Glenn Beck so his opinion doesn't matter one bit to me. Portland looks amazing and I really want to go! Have a safe trip!

Kristen @ See You In A Porridge said...

WHO HATES SANGRIA ON SUNDAYS?!
who the heck is this glenn beck person? clearly his opinion is wrong.

Karrine Beasley said...

Eugh! Portland sounds just horrible! I would never ever want to visit somewhere so naturally beautiful with so many entertainment options!! ;)