I really do love a lot of social media platforms. I'd have to say that Instagram, in all its simple & aesthetic glory, is my very favorite. And the one I would let go of if I had to would definitely be Twitter. That's because I'm rarely funny in 140 characters. I need, like, 3 sentences (and for the reader to be three sheets to the wind) for my humor to translate. But sometimes I have tried because frankly, what have I got to lose? And though no one cares about my penned tweets on there, here's some ones that I thought were actually a-okay (Note: If you don't watch "Game of Thrones" many may not make any sense) (Note 2: If you do watch "GOT", many still may not make sense).
When I dumbed-down GOT for all the "Friends" fans
#GOT TRANSLATION OF LAST SCENE FOR 'FRIENDS' FANS[#GameofThrones @Maisie_Williams]— Caitlin (@caitielady08) June 13, 2016
"Finally a girl is no one".
When I knew what awaits those who don't repent
I bet Hell is a lot of sitting at your desk working while being surrounded by people whose ringtone is the same as your alarm. #omg #why— Caitlin (@caitielady08) March 3, 2016
When I kept it real with the Folgers' commercials
Always touched by Folgers' commercials depicting sweet moments btwn beloved family members who all inherited really s****y taste buds. Aw!— Caitlin (@caitielady08) May 11, 2016
When I wasn't making any sort of joke at all. Not even a little bit.
When your husband laughs at a joke you didn't make. #IWasDeadSerious #BringMeABurrito pic.twitter.com/7YhdC7M7hr— Caitlin (@caitielady08) January 16, 2016
When I could not get a minute of peace
It'd just be nice to have a moment at home w/o my roommate barreling in & asking me what I'm doing.[Sidenote: I'm married. So u do the math]— Caitlin (@caitielady08) April 16, 2016
When I sat next to the politest idiot I had ever met
"Excuse me, Father" said the man next to me at lunch place who doesn't realize that a chef's work outfit looks a lot like a pastor's.— Caitlin (@caitielady08) April 8, 2016
After filling out thirty applications about my dog's background, sexual orientation, job history & attitude for an apartment
Pretty sure every landlord in #SF confuses the word "dog" with "Tyrannosaurus Rex"... #MyDogIsAGoodDog #SFHousing #SanFrancisco— Caitlin (@caitielady08) May 4, 2016
When Hillary's words were trending and made me think of one thing
I can only imagine how much my bank in college (taking care of my forever $35 checking acct balance) wanted to tweet me #DeleteYourAccount— Caitlin (@caitielady08) June 9, 2016
Upon realizing I had married a monster
Husband just spilled my ice water w/ lemon & a straw. Said sorry & brought me back tepid tap water in a wet glass. Kids, stay off #marriage.— Caitlin (@caitielady08) May 21, 2016
When I thought this was a mirror for a quick second
— Caitlin (@caitielady08) February 1, 2016
When my marriage was rock-solid trust wise but lacked a bit in the dramatics
You know you're in a trusting relationship when the fight u have after u get on ur spouse's phone is bc u changed their backdrop. #marriage— Caitlin (@caitielady08) February 22, 2016
When we were all so concerned about our friend
Poor #Melisandre as discussed with my brother 👵🏼 #got #gamesofthrones #JonSnow pic.twitter.com/P3EJkvQmHI— Caitlin (@caitielady08) April 25, 2016
When we were all told that dogs hate hugs and all I could think about was how much I don't like a lot of other things
Dogs hate hugs? Well I hate sleeping crumpled in a sad ball at foot of bed bc dog took right, left & middle. We all make sacrifices, dog.— Caitlin (@caitielady08) April 26, 2016
When Theon Greyjoy was decidedly not #FeelingTheBern nor on the #TrumpTrain after a pep talk from ol' sis
Theon Greyjoy be like ... #ImWithHer #GOT #YaraGreyjoy #Greyjoy #gameofthrones #getitgirl #theon pic.twitter.com/LKapqBplSE— Caitlin (@caitielady08) June 6, 2016
^I made that pic. So proud of myself. See also: Needs a life.
After Hodor proved himself to be the truest gentleman & I had no coping mechanism
5:55 PM: Excitedly settling in to watch #GOT (#holdthedoor #hodor)— Caitlin (@caitielady08) May 23, 2016
7:01 PM: pic.twitter.com/uJQjaeyItS
When the Apple vs. Caitlin storage war waged on
When you delete a malfunctioning app & then immediately redownload it, only to be told you're out of space #why pic.twitter.com/7HJYSHYnJM— Caitlin (@caitielady08) April 19, 2016
When I shouldn't get any credit for this one because my friend is just funny
— Caitlin (@caitielady08) March 11, 2016
And as the birds say when they leave one another: Tweet, tweet!