Thursday, June 23, 2016

17 Fire Tweets I've written that no one gives AF about

I really do love a lot of social media platforms. I'd have to say that Instagram, in all its simple & aesthetic glory, is my very favorite. And the one I would let go of if I had to would definitely be Twitter. That's because I'm rarely funny in 140 characters. I need, like, 3 sentences (and for the reader to be three sheets to the wind) for my humor to translate. But sometimes I have tried because frankly, what have I got to lose? And though no one cares about my penned tweets on there, here's some ones that I thought were actually a-okay (Note: If you don't watch "Game of Thrones" many may not make any sense) (Note 2: If you do watch "GOT", many still may not make sense).

When I dumbed-down GOT for all the "Friends" fans

When I knew what awaits those who don't repent


When I kept it real with the Folgers' commercials


When I wasn't making any sort of joke at all. Not even a little bit.


When I could not get a minute of peace


When I sat next to the politest idiot I had ever met


After filling out thirty applications about my dog's background, sexual orientation, job history & attitude for an apartment


When Hillary's words were trending and made me think of one thing


Upon realizing I had married a monster


When I thought this was a mirror for a quick second


When my marriage was rock-solid trust wise but lacked a bit in the dramatics


When we were all so concerned about our friend


When we were all told that dogs hate hugs and all I could think about was how much I don't like a lot of other things


When Theon Greyjoy was decidedly not #FeelingTheBern nor on the #TrumpTrain after a pep talk from ol' sis
^I made that pic. So proud of myself. See also: Needs a life.

After Hodor proved himself to be the truest gentleman & I had no coping mechanism


When the Apple vs. Caitlin storage war waged on


When I shouldn't get any credit for this one because my friend is just funny


And as the birds say when they leave one another: Tweet, tweet!
 photo blog sign-off_zpsnuhefhbr.jpg

14 comments:

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

Twitter is not enough room for me. I don't do well there.

I did LOL at some of yours - never the GoT ones, I don't watch so I don't get them. ha

Nadine Lynn said...

I don't watch GOT so I didn't get all of them but appreciated the Folgers ones haha. And the sitting at the desk one. Ugh! It is hell.

Twitter is a hard platform for me too. To be honest, I creep a lot on social media but rarely post.

MilitaryPugWife said...

Ah twitter! A place I know all to well...

The Girl who Loved to Write said...

Hahaha at the roommate one...so funny!

Pat Hatt said...

lol we sure do put up with bed hogging pets. Poor Hodor. The real idiots are the ones who put the baby on board signs right where it obstructs their view and wonder why they didn't see what they just backed into.

Kate at Green Fashionista said...

I feel the same way about Twitter, but please don't tell Twitter I said that! And LOL at Ross giving the finger without actually giving it! I need to step up my GoT knowledge. We only just finished season 2!
Green Fashionista

julie @ jewelswandering.com said...

Twitter. Argh. Yeah. I'm with you on that. I forget to check Twitter and then when I do I tweet like crazy (or I may drunk tweet - EEEK). Stupid stuff that just falls on deaf ears. HA.

Karrine Beasley said...

bahahahahahaha! Possibly your randomest post yet Caitlin but love it! :)

Jaclyn said...

This cracked me up!!! Especially the best hash tag ever... #bringmeaburrito I'll totally get on the bandwagon except remove burrito and replace it wit a tomale. Yum!

Jaclyn said...

This cracked me up!!! Especially the best hash tag ever... #bringmeaburrito I'll totally get on the bandwagon except remove burrito and replace it wit a tomale. Yum!

Emily said...

Too funny! I always say I need to put more effort into twitter but then forget about it lol. The politest idiot is my favorite :-)

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I am a huge Instagram fan as well! What is your handle? There is an IG link on my page if you wanna connect.

Wishing you a great weekend :)

aki! said...

This is hilarious. My favorite was the Folgers one... because I'm currently drinking Folgers coffee.

7% Solution

Kristen @ See You In A Porridge said...

haha do i see a 'twue' in your text with elena? is that an error, or do you all talk like that.. if so, kc and i do too hahaha. if not, ignore me.
you are hilarious! i loved all of these. i am horrible at twitter, rarely on it so i miss all the funny tweets from funny people like yourself.