Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Braids (& Other Sh*t I Can't Do)

 I've come to the conclusion that my mantra for this week is "Sh*t I can't do"

Sh*t I can't do such as work from my proper desk while the RNC & DNC are on. Since the conventions [rudely] start in the middle of the day, I've found myself unable to wait 'til I get home to partake in the drivel even though I'm sick of a lot of it from both sides. But in the spirit of being informed, it's been two work weeks of moving my laptop to the area where the TVs are in the office

Sh*t I can't do such as stop finding new things for our new place. For the first time in our life, we're actually moving somewhere with some SPACE (Keep in mind: Space to us = about 950 sq feet. This is a very city-specific comment) where I can buy things like a little dining set, an upgraded bed and a second end table. Back away from the modern furniture websites, Caitlin.

Sh*t I can't do such as pronounce the word "specific" when I'm talking fast. If you ever want to hear what a good, 'ol classic idiot sounds like - go ahead and ask me to say that word in a fast succession... it's really something special what comes catapulting out of my mouth.

AND, sh*t I can't do such as braid my own hair. I'm constantly surrounded by illustrious women in the city who have these exotic, intricate, woven braids in various styles atop their head. They're in ponies, they're in corn rows, they're in halo crowns - how are you all doing this? You can really twist your hair around your own head like that without your blood running out of your arms or passing out from boredom? Dang. If I weren't so busy being jealous I'd be impressed.

But I guess there's one thing I will say I can do. And that's perhaps be President some day. Gosh dangit if I haven't been a little teary-eyed seeing a female nominated to the main ticket. Strong ladies make me forever proud (even was awestruck at Ivanka's speech last week about women's rights!), I hate to sound all Spice Girlsy but I still get goosebumps from huge proclamations of "girl power" no matter what walks of life the messenger arrived from.

So I may not be able to do some sh*t but hey, at least "WE CAN DO IT!"

 photo blog sign-off_zpsnuhefhbr.jpg


Ashley Lillis said...

Haha how do they make their hair look so pretty in braids! My hands and arms literally don't function like that! And I'm so sick and tired of all the election drama and just want it to be over! People are never going to be happy, no matter what ends up happening, but you're totally right about girl power! It's about time we had some more strong women in politics!

Nadine said...

I can't do hair at all. Like literally have zero hair skills. I have two looks: straight and down or pony tail. I can't even make the messy bun look cute on me. Huge fail!!! Haha!

While morally I cannot vote for a criminal such as Hilary, I can appreciate how far she has come and how strong of a woman she is. Girl power for sure!! I will just write your name on the ballet come November, ok?

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

I cried a lot last night - at roll call and certainly at the nomination. Then almost cried at a completely insane display of racism from high school classmates.

Whyyyyyyy can't I braid my hair?

Mattie @ Northwest Native said...

Ugh I can't braid hair either! You know how people braid the front of their hair, like to keep their bangs off their face or whatever? I ALWAYS wanted to do that but...I have no clue how, obviously. My friends could do it basically without a mirror and I'm over here like, "Hi. How?" Hahaha.


Kate at Green Fashionista said...

YES to girl power! And girlllll I can't braid my hair either, the struggle is real. I never mastered the classic french braid from growing up, and I have a hard time just doing a side braid in the front to keep my hair out of my face at the beach.
Green Fashionista

Pat Hatt said...

Well I can't do the fourth one lol will sure be glad when your election drama is over, I hope.

Samantha said...

Omg I can't braid either! I can't even handle my hair without weave! lol

julie @ said...

Right? How do they braid their hair like that..?!?! All I can manage is a shitty french braid. I think at one point I could do a shitty fishtail. Sigh.

Here is to GIRL POWER!!

Jax said...

Girl, I'm with you on the braid!! I can't give myself a braid if my life depended on it. I've watched some of the conventions and I just can't take it. Theyre all full of bologna and this year there isn't even a lesser evil to picked. Scary is ceetainly the word of the election.

Brittany said...

Yes, friend! I'm always baffled by people who can braid their own hair. How is it possible?! I can't even do pigtail braids on myself. Ugh. I'm also feeling all the feels about Hillary's nomination. Though I'd never want the job, it's nice to see progress on such a national scale!

Kristen @ See You In A Porridge said...

yay girl power!! i can't say specific either. i have to really concentrate.
i can't braid my hair either. i can plait it, like a simple braid? but not a cool french braid or anything lol