Today, I turned 32.
That's insane for me to even write out. How am I 32?!?! Sometimes I still feel like this girl...
And while we're at it: this girl too...
^those bangs... like... thanks for "loving" me Mom & Dad
but then I realize how saddled I am with the normal stress of adulthood and I think ... meh, 32 seems about right.
My oldest friend in all the land is my Shanin. We met in 1st grade and we realized as we walked home from school on day one that our backyards in our same-floor-plan homes adjoined. We were 6-years-old. And I still remember introducing her to my parents. They were so old. So, so old. We were so, so young. I now realize that they were 33. There is truly nothing crazier to me than that. Here I am, one year off of my "old" parents.
In my early twenties, my vision of my 30s was probably a bit different than the reality. I envisioned myself being married around 24 (lol, so glad that was not the case), kids, house, dog, goats, career, etc. I still feel like most of that good stuff is yet to come and I can't wait to experience it with my puppy and husband in tow. And make no mistake - the goats will be a reality. I really think God sent them to us as natural anti-depressants. Because who wouldn't benefit from this in their front lawn!?!? I don't think that Jay realizes that goats are a certainty in his life at some point and I really can't stress enough how hellbent I am on making it happen. But back to my birthday since I'm now talking about goats for some reason...
There are many ways in which I'm proud of myself for where my life has gone. I feel like I try to let those close to me know just how important they are and how much I notice and cherish all their little nuances. I think that's crucially important and I hope I'm always doing it right (though there is always room for improvement). Life is all about these little nuances and all the little ways in which others contribute to your overall joy. I'm proud of where my career is at. I'm at a job that I've worked hard to move up in and I see a fruitful path ahead. I'm happy with my own personal growth. I've experienced severe heartbreak, loss, extreme lows and extreme highs. I've tried to not coast on what always has been and challenge myself in ways that speak to personal growth. Though I still feel that I can do more in this arena - either with physical changes (such as things like moves to new places) or mental ones (such as shifting my vantage points on issues).
I've always been one who speaks highly of chapters and the value in each one. My twenties were there for a significant reason and I have no qualms with my decision to spend many of them dancing the night away with my friends. Heck, I still like to spend my time that way. And after a wedding weekend with my best friends where we all were adorned in beautiful gowns with done-up hair and manicured nails yet still laughed our faces off at quietly-muttered bathroom humor in one another's ear at the most crucial moments - I realize how much I'm always okay being a bit young. How ridiculously boring to always play the grown card.
But here I am. I'm 32. 32! Happy. Looking for areas to grow always. Seeking for a way to consistently contribute to the community at large in a fashion that's more time-based vs. monetary based (my current path). And still liking myself and who I've become, loving all my people and exposing myself to things that make me question what I call true.
If you haven't noticed from my last post, I'm actually
a bit EXTREMELY busy (we're in Oregon this week for weddings, birthday parties, family time, etc. then once back in SF, moving apartments immediately) and will probably be back on here in about a week plus or so.
Wishing you a wonderful one. A wonderful, wonderful one. Cheers to another trip around the mf'ing sun. I read somewhere that getting old is a privilege bestowed on the lucky. Ain't that the truth? I will try to remind myself of that as the hair gets grayer and the skin gets a little bit saggier. :)